A
male
age
41-50,
*amoo
writes:Had a girlfriend, sayed together for 1 yrs, we separated after a serious conflict(the girls behaviour changed and I was not impressed so decided to ridicule her). After the fall out she went for another man whom they are now cohabitating, but since then she has been coming to me whenever I make a call. She insisted that we continue being friends even after the separation but read a mischief in that and decided to put her off including calling her. She came and asked why I no longer call her. I argued that I forgot her phone number though not, but she readily gave me.Since I decided to put her off, I concetrate with my commitments and changed my phone number (not the one she had)since then I haved been busy with my affairs. I normally see her on the streets but just pretend I don't spot her and continue with my routes without even saying Hi to her. This has been on several occassions.Yesterday My friend (whom she know) and I went to to buy some drinks but was surprised to find my Ex talking to the shop attendant on the counter (whom was also a woman) we ordered the drinks in her presence and sat to drink on a bench just next to the counter. After this scenario my Ex then decided to go outside the shop quickly and went away hiding her face. My questions therefore are:--Why did this woman insist on continuing the friendship even after getting another man?-Why was she reponding my calls and turn up whenever I needed her even after replacing me with another man?and finallyWhy did she run away after seeing us in the shop. What really made her think she was not deserving to stay around?.I will be very glad to read from you soon.Thanking you in Advance.James.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): Well James, I think you need to ask yourself firstly why you're so interested in finding out her motives. It seems like she knows you're still interested in her and she enjoys the attention. she can't be totally satisfied in her other relationship and she's looking to her past relationship with you for answers. It could also be that she genuinely cared for you and just can't forget her feelings.
And why would she leave when she spotted you, I would say because you were with other people and she doesn't want to openly admit her feelings.
Do yourself and her a favour and really move on by being friendly from a distance - don't call her and if she calls you, be direct. I'm sure if you decide what you want, and aksed her directly, you would get the answers from the only person who really knows and that's your EX.
A
female
reader, Golda  +, writes (20 July 2007):
i will advice u to move on with ur life. if u keep entertaining her, she might ruin your futre relationship when u find someone else.
she will keep hanging around and cause havoc in ur new relationships. tell her to stop bugging u!!!
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A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 James, Who knows why she does what she does, she probably doesn't even know. Some women have this idea that they can continue to be friends after a breakup. I think it's ridiculous. I think she just doesn't want to lose you as a "backup" if things don't go well with the new guy. It sounds like she's unstable, I try to avoid having unstable women in my life. It sounds like she likes drama, I try to avoid drama in my life too. Don't compromise yourself anymore, "Be a man", do what you think is right for you and stick to it. There's 60 million more women in the UK, not to mention how many in Europe. I think there's another one out there that you could have a good time with.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 July 2007):
 She obviously still cared for you after your breakup even if she found another guy. She ran out of the shop because she is probably embarrassed by your rejection yet once again. That's my guess anyway.
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