A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy a week ago and kissed him, we have txt each other and he says he wants to meet me but when i asked him if he was ok for a drink tonight he says he might be busy. He's sent me messages saying i am beautiful and very sexy but should i take the message saying he may be busy as a brush off? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): This is so one of these questions that is so ambigious that any answer given is little more than a random guess.
He could easily have said "maybe busy" because he might have had plans to do something (baring in mind he barely knows you, he is unlikely to cancel something that is probably more important) On the other hand, perhaps if you have had some bad experiences of men you're more likely to think that it was a sign of him messing you around.
Easy solution, wait for him to text you again and see how it goes, then I think you're have your answer.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I agree with Stina, it's kinda like the "I might be washing my hair that night" thing. Just a thought, time will tell.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Hey there,
Well, in my opinion it would have been different if he said that he was *definitly* busy. But "he might be busy" means that if nothing better comes along then he will just settle for you. But that's just my opinion - if I'm totally into someone, then I would want to see them and be happy that he'd asked me to hang out. I don't think this is a good sign.
But I don't have too many details to go by - so maybe he may have had something important coming up? An important phone call - was anyone in his family in for surgery or was anyone expecting to have a baby? Unless it was something major, then I don't see why he wouldn't want to get together. Did he give you any hint as to whether or not there was something important going on in his life?
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Maybe he just is genuinly busy? He wouldnt text you all that stuff and kiss you if he just decided he wanted to brush you off to be honest. Its just pointless really. So dont worry. Arrange another day if he cant make it. :)
Good luck xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (19 July 2007):
 To be fair, it was just one text. I would try him a few more times, and if he rejects you, then you can leave it to him to contact you.
Maybe he will, maybe he won't, but atleast you'll know, and that's the crucial thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): You may notreally like what I have to say but I have to straight up with you, dear.I don't buy the "he's too busy' routine. Those are the silly little excuses that keep women cemented in potentially poor relationships with losers. If he's too busy to date you and wants to make something of this dating relationship, then he's not the guy to date. Go find someone less complicated and more 'into' you, hun. As Laura stated, it sounds like he just wants to keep you 'keen and hopeful'. But I do think you have to decide if "mindgames' are part of your dating values/views. Frankly, I find games rather silly and cowardly. And a girl has to discriminate what 'type' of guy is good for her future. My own personal opinion is: If you like someone, tell them straight off - stop with the innuendo, suggestions and signs. It's not only confusing, I find games are a sign of weakness and immaturity. Somehow, a lot of men 'think' women like these ploys and men of all ages do this. In fact, before I started dating my current partner, I had a couple brief dating relationships.. Both of them tried this with me. It definitely was confusing and I found it hurtful as well as disrespectful. Their little 'mindgame' was the demise of both these relationships. I told both men, what they were doing was cowardly and at their ages (45+), I expected more graciousness, respect and classy behavior. It was hard to trust them after that. I find mindgames a waste of my time. We have mouths..come out with genuine words and be honest. So dear, my advice: Ease back a bit, no contact and get out there and date other guys. And you would well be within your right to tell him, that. At least you've been honest...right?
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (19 July 2007):
 He may actually be busy! If you repeatedly asked him out and he was always busy, then I might see a problem, but this guy does have a life you know!
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (19 July 2007):
 It doesn't sound like a brush off to me. It sounds like he really may be busy.
If he hadn't said you were sexy, etc, then I might think it was a brush off.
Let the ball stay in his court, so to speak. Let him make the next suggestion of when to get together. Time will tell what his true intentions are.
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (19 July 2007):
Hi,
If he had said he was busy, and none of the other nice stuff, then I would take it as a brush off. But a man that isn’t interested wouldn’t bother to say all those nice things. I think maybe he was busy. Or maybe he doesn’t want to seem too keen. I would leave it a day or 2 and if he hasn’t texted back, try one more text, and then leave it up to him.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Give him the benefit of the doubt, he may very well be generally busy. He obviously likes you alot as he has commented on how beautiful and sexy you are.
Text him back and say to him when ever you are not busy it would be really nice to meet up for a drink.
Good luck x
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