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It was perfect, but he cheated, we keep breaking up and there's trust issues! We're meant for each other!?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 July 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2007)
A female Malaysia age 36-40, *exonthebeach writes:

my boyfriend and i have been together for a year before breaking up a month ago. he is 34 and i am 20. despite our age gap, we have managed to create a special bond between us. during the first 5-6 months of the relationship everything went perfect.

after that, he cheated on me. well, i don't know how to put this. we engage in BDSM forms of play, which is like kinky sex. When his work and my studies started to prove itself as a barrier to our relationships, he started seeking for BDSM partners, which he openly told me about. understanding his situation, i agreed to him having strictly professional BDSM relationships, however, he betrayed that trust by mixing up his emotions into their relationship.

Having hacked into his accounts to find out about his relationship with another girl, i was outraged, and thought the best approach was to confront him with it. however, he felt hurt that i didn't trust him, with perfect reason not to. After that incident, i continued to access his accounts, and did not find any other evidence of him cheating, but after that incident, i also felt that i could not trust him.

About a month ago, we both had a fall out and broke up. before that, we've already broken up around 4-6 times in the duration of 6 months.

Now, we are again seeing each other. Although we still sleep on the same bed, kiss each other good bye, there is no 'i love you'. it is awkward and i don't know if i should proceed like this and maybe one day have him say i love you.

We both believe that we were meant for each other. and i love him to tiny bits even after all he has done.

Sorry it's so long, but pls, any comments or advice would be appreciated.

Cheers,

lostnconfused

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, I love you

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (19 July 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntFor two people who are "meant for each other" you guys sure have had alot of breakups in a short period of time. And of course there was the cheating incident. Trust is essential in a healthy relationship if you don't think you will ever be able to trust him then I guess you aren't really meant for each other after all. Only you can decide whether staying in this relationship will give you the happiness you deserve.

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