A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over half a year, today I checked his Facebook not because I don't trust him. Jus because he told me of an old friend who messaged him recently from Spain, I was interested and so decided to read it, I don't care how that sounds we look on eachothers profiles all the time. As I was reading these messages ( the conversation was quite short ) it went back to a previous conversation with the same friend a few months ago, my boyfriend was talking about me and how he'd got a girlfriend, his friend then asked is she hot? In which my boyfriend replied, "she's a decent one yeah :) there are hotter girls in our school but they all have shit personalities" I've always been so self conscious of the way I look, but he's always been the one to tell me I'm beautiful or that he genuinely thinks I'm attractive, I've always had a problem with thinking he likes my friends too, and now after reading those messages I know he probably does this think that they are more attractive.. I hate who I am I don't know how to handle what I've read, I don't know how to approach my boyfriend about it, why can't I be good enough for anyone?!:'(
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 this is EXACTLY why you don't ever go through each other's personal stuff. because sometimes, people say things they don't necessarily mean, or vent when they are upset and say things out of anger, etc. i'm certain you've done the same. perhaps you've vented to a friend or said something questionable that you didn't necessarily mean. and had he happened to have accidentally come across it, well, i'm sure he'd be pissed, too. it's ridiculous and unnecessary. now you're stuck because you can't un-read something like what you've just read. and all for what? i'm not trying to be insensitive, but i feel very strongly about this. now you've got an issue in your relationship where you wouldn't have ever had one before had you just not gone through his stuff.
my advice: since you say you had "permission" to be reading his messages .. confront him. see how he explains it. if you didn't have permission, then you keep it to yourself and you just deal with it. chalk it up to just talk. i'm sure that's not how he really feels, anyway. and if you just can't get over it, well then you need to dump him.
A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Guy tend to take different when it comes to talking to guy friend versus female friends.
So if any guy asks me if my girl is beautiful or how I think of her, I will only say :
she is cool and pretty .
if asked any other girls hotter, I would say, yeah there might be but I think I am happy..
this doesnot mean I don't love her or looking for another girl but simply not giving all my emotions. I know my girl means the world to me and I can't be happier or let alone think of another girl.
Guys usually don't show too much emotions talking to another guy and they say everything as matter of facts!
Hope this answers it.
good luck :-)
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (24 February 2013):
 Calm down. Its about personality. Youre a star. Other girls arent in his book.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 February 2013):
His friend asked if you were hot and he said yeah. Pretty straightforward.
You are also the best looking girl in your school who still has a good personality.
He phrased it poorly but it wasn't meant for you to read. He didn't think anything of it or he wouldn't have let you on there.
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