A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last weekend, I slept with a guy from work, we were both sober so it wasn't a drunken mistake and actually it was a long time coming after weeks of flirty texts and flirting on nights out. I had absolutely fantastic weekend with him and even took me out for a slap up meal the next day and basically treated me like a princess! However, since seeing him at work, he doesn't even seem to want to talk to me anymore even about general topics. Why is he acting like this? Is it something I have done wrong and what is the next step I should take?I'll be grateful for any advice, once again thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (5 March 2010):
 He merely wanted sex. He wanted to add you to his list, and will probably brag about it to his work colleagues I'm afraid.
Unfortunately there are a lot of men like this, they will spend months, or sometimes years chasing a woman, only to drop them like a hot potato once they have achieved their aim.
You thought he was being romantic, but he was just doing and saying whatever it took. He is already looking at his next conquest, so I'd suggest you move on and forget this idiot.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 March 2010):
The office is a great place to look for partners if you are single ,as you can observe them everyday and be better acquainted with them and see their full potentials.
The office romance is great but not without it’s perils .If you are thinking of a romance in the office, you must be prepared for the consequences.
It is also a place where dangerous liaisons can sprout up.Office romance can be wonderful, but can also be very painful if things don't work out.
Working in the office with the intermingling of both the sexes will give rise to relationship and personal issues.
Can a man and woman be just friends ?There is just a thin red line between them and most of the time , the line is very blurred.
There is no way you can escape from those forces of sexual attractions between the opposite sex.It is mutual attractions.It only takes a small spark to kindle the love in their hearts.
It can start slowly and easily with tea breaks, lunch ,dinner , parties ,shows and ends up in the car, parks or the bedroom.They wont know what they are into until it hits them hard.
If career is more important to you than love, then you should not ever venture into that territory.For there is no MAN worth your career!
Why is he acting cold and withdrawn?
I am only speculating here .
Possible reasons:-
He does not want anyone in the work place to know what has happened .Could be work place policy, no romance in office or other reasons best known to him.
The chase was fantastic and it ended with your surrender. Another trophy on his wall.
He is scared or not ready for commitment.
He wanted only sex.
He is a coward and does not owned up to his actions.
He has a g/f or is married.
He heard some rumours about you.
His perceptions of you have changed.
What's your next step?
Just act normal and think of it as just a bad dream only . .Look at it from a more positive angle.
You are lucky it was only once and he did not continue to lead you down the path of deceit, lies and false hope.
Otherwise ,you would have suffered more and felt dirty ,dumb, cheap and used.
Move on and learn from your mistakes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010): Unfortunately, we women tend to be easily absorbed by our romantic notion and we begin to project romantic relations long-term. Men are far more sequential and prefer to continue sampling for as long as they can before the clock- or receding hairlines rather xd- reminds them that playtime is up. We can't force another to look at a situation from the same prism- even if it an intimate experience that we share together. All we can do is leave them to their peace and take care of ourselves the best we can.
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A
female
reader, hunnie poo  +, writes (5 March 2010):
i think all this person wanted is SEX form you......so he did whatever its takes to get....
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 You have done nothing wrong. I agree with Aunty Bim Bim, sex is all he wanted. You shouldn't do anything now. Ignore him, don't be concerned about his activities, actions or anything...he doesn't matter to you anymore.
I'd just like to ask you what you expected from all this? Did you think that it would go somewhere? Unfortunately, many times when you have sex with a man outside of a committed relationship, you don't really stand a good chance of it developing into anything more.
Bottom line is you have done nothing wrong. Learn from this experience and move on.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (5 March 2010):
 The flirty texts and flirty nights out were the warm up, the weekend away and the slap up meal was the payment up front, the sex was all he wanted.
He got what he wanted, and has moved on. You need to steel yourself to try and be as cold hearted as this asshat is whenever you are in the same room as him and cry over him in private. He isnt worth your tears.
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