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writes: My guy of two years broke up with me three weeks ago, he says that he does not love me anymore. Earier that same week he took me out of town and we spent an awesome romantic weekend. What should I do? I am so confused. Should I just let him go?
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (8 July 2005):
 I don't mean for this to sound as brutal as it does, but you don't really have a choice.
If your ex doesn't love you any more, there's nothing you can do but let him go. (Would you really want to be around someone who doesn't return your love?)
NordicBeauty's advice is spot-on, though I tend to think that your ex was a bit chickenhearted, rather than admirable. The idea of having one last fling before the break-up strikes me as misleading to you, and a bit cynical.
If nothing else, your ex has now nailed his true colours to the mast. He seems to have problems communicating his feelings to you, and in the longer term, that would have been an even bigger problem than it is now. Perhaps you were lucky he left.
What you need to do now is find ways to take care of yourself and take your mind off him, by doing things with girlfriends, or by having adventures on your own. Try not to rush back into dating straightaway, no matter what the temptation, or you risk getting into one of those awful "rebound" relationships.
Take care of yourself first! You'll be OK in a while.
A
reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (7 July 2005):
You mentioned that your romantic weekend with your boyfriend was AWESOME but then he broke up with you & said he didn't love you anymore.
It's obvious the romantic weekend was awesome to you, but not awesome to him....if it was, then he would not break up with you.
It sounds like your romantic weekend, was your boyfriend's last special time with you before he ended the relationship.
Perhaps he was already planning to break up & this was his way of giving you one more special time together before he was courageous enough to tell you he didn't love you anymore...sort of a "parting gift" to you.
I admire his honesty to be direct about losing his love for you...that must have been difficult for him to admit because he knew it would hurt you, but he was truthful.
I would advise RELEASING him at this time...don't cling or hang on...or he will be forced to hurt your feelings even more.
Nobody knows what the future holds...perhaps in the future you may re-unite with him, but in the meantime, you need to move on with your life...give time a chance to heal your wounds & then get out there & date again.
Right now you feel unloved & rejected because he has decided he doesn't love you anymore & broke up.
The pain in your heart must be overwhelmingly, sweetie.
I advise focussing on YOU right now...not him...just let him go.
Work on bringing healing to your own soul.
Do NOT phone him or find ways to be around him in public.
It would set yourself up for more rejection & hurt.
In time, he may miss you & realize he truly does love you & will contact you...but I wouldn't hold my breath & wait.
There are plenty of guys out there, who would LOVE to be with you....so take time to restore your self-confidence, pamper yourself & do special things just for you.
(bubble baths, great movies, dinner with friends, dancing, etc)
Right now your pain is raw...but in a few months it will improve...in several months, you will be yourself again !
All the best,
...............................
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