A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been in contact -via e-mail- with a lady for the last 6 months. We have also talked over the phone.After six months I asked her whether she would like to meet for a drink. She accepted. It resulted that we share a lot of common interests. We had quite long and interesting conversation. However, when I asked her to meet again, she told me that at the moment she is unable to meet because she is passing through bad times, and so she is not ready to meet anyone at the moment.We still text each other at times. And she was very grateful for my nice comments I text her following our first date.How will I go about it, because I would like to meet her more?I would like to turn this situation - friendship - into a relationship!!!! Not just only texting each other as we did for the last six months.Thanks and regards,josef
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): Dear Poster
You might not like this, but I am trying to help you to get perspective; not to hurt or upset you.
Have you considered that maybe she is just not "into" you; maybe she does not want a relationship now, but maybe she does not want a relationship with you. It could be that she values you as a friend and not more; however, I suggest you give her a space and distance your self a little and see how she reacts;
I do suggest you don't place your life on hold whilst hoping and waiting for her; get on with life, start meeting more people and see what happens in time.
Hope this is of some assistance.
Best wishes and lots of smiles.
A
female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 just give her time sweetee.. we all handle our emo issues differently and pace ourselves accordingly.. you both seemed to enjoy your first meeting and you continue to text each other afterwards.. so thats a good sign.. if she didnt want any more to do with you everything would have stopped .. so enjoy the fact that you both keep in contact and its a good thing to offer her support.. like a listening ear.. and just being there.. women look for the lil gestures.. the simple actions that really mean alot.. best of luck with your lady friend.. i hope it works out for you both... :)
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A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 the only thing you can do is give her space and time like she needs to heal.
If you push a relationship on her she will resent you because she's not ready. You can be there for her and show her you care, but don't be too available and smothering.
In time, she would see what a great guy you are and when she's ready then you can pursue her.
Remember, though, when women aren't ready and a man is overwhelming, we feel we can't breathe. So don't come on too strong were you will scare her away. take it slow, get to know each other as friends first. That is where the best relationship comes from.
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