A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a real problem which is distressing me so much. I was with my partner for 6 years and he was the love of my life and we broke up last February because he left after an argument then we were on and off together since then and he seems to be in two minds about whether we can get back together or not. The thing is I just cannot get over him. I loved him so much (too much I guess) and I am distressed, depressed, anxious and upset all the time.I am a professional person with two children so I have to function normally etc but I am really emotionally hurt and upset and he won't even discuss the prolems with me that we had. One minute he is nice and affectionate and the next saying he doesn't want to see me anymore. I supported him through a very nasty divorce (I was not the cause of the divorce - his ex wife had an affair and left him for the other man and I met him whilst all this was going on). I partly feel as though he used my daughers and me for comfort (they were 15 and 12 when he came on the scene) and for a family and now his ex wife is well and truly gone etc he seems to just want to dispense with us. He is 51 and I am 41.When we were together we talked about a future but now he seems to have re-written history. He seems angry and distant and says he hasn't had any other woman/women at all. I can't understand his behaviour as I know he still cares and I still care for him but he seems to have had some sort of breakdown during his divorce but refuses to get counselling help.Is it so unreasonable of me to want to talk to him about the problems to see if we can resolve at least some of the anger and bitterness. I seem to miss him more as time goes on. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading.
View related questions:
affair, broke up, depressed, divorce, ex-wife, get back together, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): Hi thank you for your answer. Re his ex wife, he didn't want her to come back and he was really happy when he met us and we had a lovely connection but he did have some sort of breakdown and now it is really hard to communicate with him. I spent all those years with him and do really love him and I know he loves me too but I don't know how to communicate with him. I guess it has to come from him but I worry that after going through all that and still loving him, he will get better then go off with someone else, which would be really hurtful.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 December 2009):
You have to let him go. This will be affecting your daughters more than you think. You are right about him I'm afraid. He was using you for comfort in the hope his wife would come back to him. Sometimes, we have to help ourselves, and this is a time where the only person who can sort his life out is him. He has a breakdown of some sort, and can't face up to what has happened. I know you want to help him, but you can't. He must help himself, and you must be strong for yourself and your daughters. They will be worried about you.
...............................
|
