A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just got back from my 3rd date with a girl I like. We've had 2 highly successful dates and this 3rd one appeared to be no acception. We talked, laughed and had a nice evening, just like the previous two dates. But tonight I wanted to slip in the one thing that has been absent from our previous two dates and that was a goodnight kiss.Circumstances being what they were, she picked me up and dropped me home this evening. Before getting out of the car we shared a hug, I gave her a peck on the cheek and she gave me one back. I then asked her if I could do something a little inappropriate, and when she asked what that was I lent in and we had a little kiss. She didn't pull away. It was short, but sweet and satisfactory. We then said goodnight and I went inside.I'm just looking for opinions really. Was this the right thing to do? I only ask because I haven't heard from her and I had asked her to drop me a message to let me know she had gotten home safely. Do you think I came on too strongly? Did I overstep my mark or am I worrying too much? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 a simple text or phone call saying "wanted to touch base before I go away on Holiday and say have a great week" sounds appropriate...
then let her be... go on holiday have a great time... see what's up when you get home....
A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (16 July 2011):
well if its driving you crazy send her a simple text like "hi how are you x " see if she replies back if she does don,t tell her it was driving you crazy not hearing from her as that may sound like you are coming on strong
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, I'm happy enough taking things slowly, but I still haven't heard back from her and it's driving me crazy! You've suggested that I give her space, so what should I do? Do I wait for her to contact me, or should I try contacting her tomorrow? I'm going on holiday for a week on monday, so I know now I won't see her until I get back from that regardless, it would just be nice to hear from her so that I know she would like to see me again, because I feel like she doesn't at the moment.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (15 July 2011):
i would give her plenty of time as she said shes been hurt before so take it slowly with her
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (15 July 2011):
 She does not want to open her heart to you too quickly.
Ask her out again soon, perhaps where YOU can pick her up or meet somewhere.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2011):
she is taking it slow.. do not crowd her... give her space...
sounds perfectly lovely and that she likes you..
I would say that texting is a sucky way to have a relationship as texts don't always go through on time or they get lost or forgotten...
maybe call her in a few days and ask her out for a date again...
and relax sounds like the start of something grand...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi folks, thanks for the messages, here's an update.
She got in touch before the end of the night to say that she got home safely and to thank me for a lovely night. I too thanked her for a lovely night, but I couldn't help but ask her if she thought I'd over-stepped my mark. She said that I hadn't at all, but she also mentioned how she "jumped into previous relationships too fast" and has been "really hurt in the past". I told her that was completely fine and joked that I was just making sure I hadn't scared her off.
The next day round about lunch time I sent her a message just to see how she was... but I didn't hear back from her until about half past ten in the evening. She just said that she was really good and asked how I was. I replied shortly after and asked her how her day had been and what she'd been up to, and as yet (it's now midday) I haven't heard back from her.
I'd love to know what you think is going on? I know I overanalyse things far too much for my own good, I just can't help but feel like I'm being brushed off. She's a busy girl, she's not long started a new job and it's been made clear that she wants to go slowly, so I know she has her reasons. What should my plan of action be? Wait til I hear from her again (if I do)? What should I do if/when she gets in touch? Any advice would be great, thanks!
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A
female
reader, kittykins +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Aww, you sound lovely, and handled it in a perfect, gentlemanly manner. She'll get in touch, don't you worry:)
And if not, I agree with Lexie88; her loss:)
Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 July 2011):
sounds perfect to me..
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (14 July 2011):
She did not pull away or looked shocked. She was ok with it.
How you handled it was very gentlemanly.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (14 July 2011):
Nope- 3rd date is good... if you didn't let her know you like her she might get confused...
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (14 July 2011):
 Awww, that's so sweet. You sound just like my boyfriend when we started dating :)
You may be overanalysing here. How long has it been since the date? Have you heard from her by now? It's a little strange she hasn't messaged but maybe it's a girl thing...thinking 'I won't message him first' (weird I know).
You didn't come on too strongly at all. If anything, you were great!
If I was you I'd send her a text the next day or so just to say you enjoyed the date, hope she got home safe and you'd like to see her again.
If she's interested she'll message you back, etc.
Best of luck :)
And oh, if she's not into it anymore, her loss...nothing to do with what you said or did. I wish there were more men out there like you.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (14 July 2011):
 You are worrying way too much. She's probly been waiting for that for a long time so just relax. Wait for her to call and if she doesn't, then you call her and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, Star xxx +, writes (14 July 2011):
 I think maybe you are worrying too much, she did not pull away when you kissed her so she obviously enjoyed it.
Women work in different ways, she could have left you and wanted to get home and chat to a friend or something to let them know what a good night it was and just totally forgot.
Take care xx
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