A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 2 ish months says i'm boring. What should i do to make her feel that i'm not boring. Our relationship is still new but i must say that we've been through a lot of things together.Please help! I need guidance for this because i'm afraid that she'd leave me because of that.I really love her so much like everything else doesn't matter. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Awwww, what a horrible thing to say! I'm sure that you're not boring at all!
Here's the thing: when girls say they're 'bored' often what they really mean is 'You're not doing any of the things I want to do'! Now, I'm not for a second saying that a gal should be able to do what the hell she likes all of the time. There should be an equality in a relationship in terms of choice, a good 50/50 split with a bit of give and take on both sides. However, problems can start because a lot of very sweet and well meaning guys just assume that a girl will want the same things as them, and that what they really want is to spend 3 hours at a record fair/playing computer games/watching football/painting figures. I'm not saying that girls can't enjoy those things, but some don't! And that's often when complaints about being bored start!!
Think about the things you do together. Do you tend to see your friends more than hers? Do you tend to choose the movies, or the TV station? Do you perhaps moan sometimes if she wants to do or watch something girly? Try asking her what she would like to do, and listen carefully to her answer. If she's the kind of girl who says 'I don't know what I want!' a lot, then make sure that you have some options lined up (tonight we can... rent your favourite movie and get your favourite takeaway/go out with your friends/go for a walk in the sunset and have ice cream etc.)
Romantically, try to surprise her. You don't have to make big, expensive gestures - it's about being thoughtful. Buy her some of her favourite chocolate, or write her a letter, or offer to carry her bag if it looks heavy, or make her a playlist of romantic songs. Try to do at least one thing a day that is unusual and shows you care. It might take you a while to think of things at first, but it will start to get easier!
You sound like a fun person, and the fact that you're looking for advice on how to please your girlfriend tells me you'll be a great boyfriend too! Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 April 2010):
Ask her what you can do to be a little more exciting. The problem I have is that if she fancied you that much, she would be able to say that you are more than just 'boring'. It's more likely that she's not ready for any kind of relationship and is a little immature. Ask her what you can do to be a little more exciting, but don't just drop everything and change for her when you haven't done anything wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): Add more fun into your relationship go to fun places do fun things and most importantly do fun things like sneak into her room and have some fun with her knowing though! Do things that will definetley change her opinion!
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