A
female
age
41-50,
*acifia1977
writes:My bf and I have been together over a year.We also live together and have been for a year.He and I have known each other for over ten years.And in the beginning it was great.But,over the last several months things seem to be dying.Sex life has died down and that's okay.He used to tell me I was beautiful or sexy.Now I have to drag it out of him even if I dress up just for him.I tell him every day that I love him, or how sexy he is.I even go out of my way to do little things such as put love notes in his lunch box from time to time.I have talked to him about how he doesn't give me compliments like he used to and how I feel like he is bored with me or that I am not as attractive.But it doesn't do any good.I feel like he has lost interest even though he says that he loves very much.How can I gain the spark back?
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female
reader, pacifia1977 +, writes (20 February 2007):
pacifia1977 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNew Info.I finally got him to listen to me even though I was crying due to the frustration that I had been feeling.He told me that he loved me just as much now as when we first got together.He just hadn't realized that he was really being like that.He told me he was sorry and he was going to try harder because he really does love me and doesn't want it to end between us.We had a long good talk.We both agree that we are stuck in a rut and now we are trying to spend time together, not sex,but just time-like talking, doing things together.Things have been great these past couple of days.I hope that they stay this way.
A
female
reader, Shley919 +, writes (16 February 2007):
It seems like your doing all the work! What has he done to try and get the spark back? Does he even recognize its dying? You need to realize that it takes 2 to make a relationship work so no matter what new sex moves, new dinner meals, new pet names you come up with, if he isnt willing to try harder too, then its not gonna last. Make sure you let him know that you are going out of your way to make things like they used to be and you need his help. If you need counseling, then go get it and dont be scared!! Everyone needs a good counseling session once in awhile. So 1st talk to him, and 2nd, you both come up with what your each going to do individually to make things better. If he isnt down for the challenge.....then theres a big problem. Good luck!
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