Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (7 April 2006):
 Listen it is very easy to say move on but feelings and emotions are really getting in the way. The man is still ringing you - why if he is not interested.
The only way forward is for when he rings you the next time just say to him that this is crucifying you and as a christian man how can he cause you so much pain. You have enjoyed his company in the past and obviously he has with you a simple coffee in a crowded coffee place is not going to be full on. Try him again and ask him to meet you even for a 15 minute coffee as you cannot continue to answer his calls and talk to him for anything from 1/2 hour to an hour which then leaves you completely deflated.
The only way forward is for him to give you answers and if he is not prepared to do that then stop the contact altogether as he is more likely to be intrigued why you won't talk to him. At the moment he sees you as the one who is doing all the running and needing answers, if you are not around to take his calls it may be the spur that he needs.
Do make plans in the meantime, try and plan a holiday or a short break with friends or family and don't always be available to talk to him, this will frustrate him no end. You have been going through this for some time now and whilst I am not a vicious person he may need some of his own medicine. The getting drunk thing has long passed now and if he not prepared to give you answers then pull back completely and let him feel what you have been experiencing.
I wish you well and I am always around so don't be afraid to let me know how you are doing OK. Take care.
BFN
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (7 April 2006):
 He just wasn't that into you. So move on and get over it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): I'm not going to sugarcoat stuff here. If this guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way, to be with YOU. He just wasn't that into you. Let go of this man and look for someone else who will be there for you. But do it after you get over this guy who just dumped you. Grieve, mourn, cry your eyes out. You need to do that. this is life..we've all been there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnswer to Country Woman for reply on the 06 April,Where am I with this man ? I still do not know. Had a talk to him to try and understand but he said he hasnt changed his mind, however some weeks he rings me 3-4 times and talks for 1/2 hour to an hour. I have tried to move on but everytime I try to go out something happens to stop me. I am in limbo as I still have very stong feelings for this man but dont seem to be able to move forward. Stuck in Limbo.Many Thanks for your reply.
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (6 April 2006):
Has anything further happened with your man?
So sorry but I have only just found your reply as I did look but for some reason it wasn't displaying on my screen.
How are you feeling now?
Wait to hear from you.
Country Woman
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply from Country Woman, I have been trying to have a talk to him but it hasnt eventuated yet. I feel as exactly as you said. It is hard to move on when things were so perfect without an explanation. Maybe the next week or two will bring some answers. This I pray for so I can either move on with or without him Thankyou Country Woman.
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (12 February 2006):
This man who once said you were in a committed relationship just saw you in a different light the night you were unwell. Did you ever discuss it fully? Get to the core of the problem by asking him outright and say to him that you think you need him to understand how you felt that night i.e. that you are never normally ill as you don't normally drink too much. Perhaps he was concerned that you would embarrass yourself or something.Christianity aside of everything, if he has had strong feelings for you previously then why the sudden change, only he can answer that and to end your relationship without answers means that you will never move on from this so say to him that you would like to discuss it over coffee sometime and so you can understand where things went wrong so you can move forward either with him or without him, fate will be the decider at the end of the day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am still at a loose end as I still dont have any answers as to WHY. I have asked him that we could meet and discuss things and he agrred but then said whats the hurry, I feel I need to understand from his perspective as to why so I can move on with my life though I am still in a lot of emotional paid.Thankyou for the updates thus far but still at amiss as to what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn reply to answer, I have asked him to give me understanding from his perspective and he has told me he just doesnt know what he wants. He is ringing me to ask me if I am OK. Doesnt he realise the pain he has put me through? Do I move on with my life or hope things are worked out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the Agony Aunt who answered the first question I dont normally drink excessively. I very rarely have more than 1-2 drinks a month. I was at a dinner for top achievers and only had five drinks between 6pm and midnight. I would not call this excessive drinking. I know myself it was the food that made me sick.
Thankyou for your critqique.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): Does Christinanity mean drinking excessive alcohol?. Why do you need to go out drinking like this? It must have been a turn off for him because he has Christian values, come on you should know better especially now you are in you fifties. Try and curb the drinking or get help for It.Good luck.
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female
reader, pressure free +, writes (28 January 2006):
because men get scared i'm sure he still loves you but needs time to think about things he may have other things on his mind just remeber treat me mean to keep me keen and things will get better with time
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