A
male
age
30-35,
*_Droid
writes:So, this all starts a little over a year ago. I met this cute girl and I began talking to her, and getting to know her. We connected instantly, and became good friends. I asked her out, she accepted. Then we dated for about 10 months. I had fallen in love with her. Absolutely head over heels. I was (and still am) sure that she is the girl I want the rest of my life to be spent with. I asked her to marry me and she said yes.But 3 days after 10 months, she tells me she isn't in love with me anymore, and that she is leaving me for my best friend. I attempted suicide, but failed. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed anti-depressants. These did nothing for the problem. I was miserable, I felt as if half of my soul had been pulled out of me. She calls me a few weeks later telling me that she is sorry and that she should have never let me go, she tells me that she was just confused and that she was still in love with me. So, I take her back. With hopes she will stay forever. She doesn't. She tells me that she wants to lose these feelings for my (former) best friend. I tell her ok and we break up again. It hurts more than anything. He treats her like crap. She called me on several occasions crying because he called her ugly, or cussed her out. Most of their arguments stemmed from my existence. He did not like the fact that she still talked to me. He demanded it stop, she refused, and he got pissed. During this time, I had begun dating another girl, basically, and as horrible as it is, to get over my ex fiance. Again, my ex starts telling me how much she loves me, and how much she misses me. I tell her that I still love her and that it will never change. Well my current girlfriend read my email got mad, and broke up with me and showed my ex's boyfriend. They both got pissed, he moved in with her. I know I should not have been telling another woman I loved her if I was with someone else but I wasn't going to lie to her.So my ex is now alone and miserable. I am hanging on the hope that she still feels the same way she did before their breakup, and I am there to comfort her. Despite everything that she has done, I still love her. I am willing to forget everything just to have her love me as much as I love her. She tells me that she loves me, she just misses my ex-best friend, they were best friends before she left me the first time. Now, after me getting fed up with constantly being there for her and her taking me for granted, I tell her that I can't keep doing this forever. She then says that we shouldnt talk anymore, for at most 2 weeks. My ex-friend never talks to her because he hates her, and she still obsesses over him, although she says she is in love with me and that she wants to marry and have a life and family with me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I love her and just want her to fulfill all of the things she is telling me. it has been 4 months of her telling me these things. It doesn't seem to have an end. She is my everything. Just for the record. I was her first, she was a virgin before me. I always thought it was weird that I had such a attachment to her and not vice versa. It is like she gave that to me and I want her to be able to tell her kids that their father is the only man she had been with. I am still her only one, and she wants to keep it that way.I just don't know...What should I do?
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 I found this and it was just so cute I had to share it with you.
a href="http://www.angeleyes2.com/platinum6/compose2.html?fcod"img src="http://www.angeleyes2.com/platinum6/pictures/images/thfcod.jpg" alt="Friendship of the Day from AngelEyes" width="100" height="100" border="0"/a
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (4 December 2008):
 I am very sorry about all this, but I am afraid you are being used. I do not think that she is neccesarily purposely or callously using you, but she is using you. You have offered her unconditional love and a steady support and love through all her craziness. Each time she feels lost and put down by the man SHE CHOOSES TO BE WITH she turns to you to buck her up with your consistent affections. Then, once she feels better, because you will always love her, then she goes back to SOMEONE ELSE. She doesnt stay with you! She doesnt come to you when she is feeling good. She doesnt stay with you when you offer to love her forever. She just comes to you whenever she needs and ego boost and then moves on! Once she finds someone and gets happy she will no longer return to you. Do you see how this is happening?
I will give you an example. When my boyfriend broke up with his ex it broke his heart. He promised to love her and be there for her forever. She began dating other men. Each time one would dump her she would go crying back to my boyfriend and he would assure her how wonderful she was, blah, blah, blah. She wanted reassurance that he still loved her, that she was still desireable, etc. She couldnt seem to hang onto a guy for more than a month or 2. This went on for about 2 years and then finally a guy stuck. Her calls to my guy became less and less and finally she told him she didnt want anything to do with him anymore. After being there for her for so long, now that she was finally happy she no longer needed him and 'dumped' him as even a friend.
Your ex is doing the same thing. It is time for you to cut ties and move on, for your own sanity.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (4 December 2008):
He is jealous of you, she is confused and YOU are DEPRESSED...I would say that you are getting the worse end of the deal here. My suggestion would be to let her go because twice she has already broken your heart and each time I am guessing that your depression has gotten worse.
Until she grows up and takes the blame for the problems that she is creating both for herself and you should you even consider taking her back again. I don't mean for this to sound harsh hon but you stated that you have already tried committing suicide. Thank God that you failed! Don't allow this girl to drag you down any further with her lack of committment to you and her failure to meet your expectations of love and marriage. SHE allowed you to draw upon these in the first place by saying she loved you and would marry you. It perhaps was not her intentions to falsify her feelings toward you but indeed she has and you have been devastated.
I would suggest that you seek help ongoing for the depressive state you are in. Try to eat properly and get plenty of rest. Stay busy with family and friends or your job. Find things that will be enjoyable to you as much as possible and keep foucused on YOU. This girl as much as you love her has to deal with her situation and be willing to step out of the *Box as they say in order to be even available. She could ultimately cause you more harm than good unless she gets her thoughts and feelings somewhere on the *Same Page as you.
The main thing now hon is that you get the help you need to cope with your situation. Until you are in better *Spirit of Mind it will be hard for you to really be any good to a real relationship with the young lady. You are giving her way too much of yourself and she is returning your love with PAIN. It may not be her intentions to do so but it is making you SUICIDAL and that is not a good thing. Please try to let go of her as much as you can and learn to LOVE YOURSELF more.
I want you to know that I am speaking from my heart. I really know how you feel and I have been there. I never tried to committ suicide but it was only because I put my Faith in God. My situation wasn't good and the pain was almost more than I could bear. I was raising two children and my heart was breaking but I had to find the strenght inside to let go. I survived and I want you too also. You will find someone really cares and that you have to be strong for yourself. I still love him but in time the love changed and it was a different kind of love. I let him go and even when did find myself still hurting over the old wounds I just kept on going, each day getting stronger. God is with you.
I have something for you. Sorry I don't know how to make the link here, so just copy and paste the link into you bowser.
http://www.angeleyes2.com/platinum/magiccard.cgi
Share it with whomever you wish!
God Bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (4 December 2008):
 Teenage drama. None of you are old enough or mature enough to have an adult relationship. I'm sure she really does love you, but she and you are much too young and inexperienced to consider marriage. From all the drama and out of control emotions and behavior going on, thank goodness she isnt' pregnant.
Depression is very common in young adults so try to do all you can to get though this without depending on her to bring you happiness. This is a very good learning experience for you to understand that you can not expect someone else to bring happiness to you.
You will find your soulmate eventually, but at this age, it is much more important to find a career or vocation so that when you do find The One, you will be able to afford a wife and family. I realize how difficult all these overwhelming emotions are. But they will pass eventually.
You need to face reality however that you are just both too young to settle down. All this drama proves it.
Also, in the future, it isn't a very nice thing to do do someone to hook up with another girl on the rebound, to use them to get over the heartbreak. That only causes more drama and hurts an innocent person.
Good luck to you and your recovery. Pills are not always the best way to deal with depression.
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