A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's like it's all about him! How can I make him see I have needs, too?My boyfriend and I are really close. We've been together for a year, but after the first five months of having sex (It's month nine and a half), he kind of lost interest in doing anything for me. He likes to see that I enjoy sex, but after he gets a blow job, hand job, or he comes from intercourse, he just doesn't really do anything for me. I like to give him what he wants, but what I don't like is that I always end up thinking 'that's it?' when he buttons and zips up his pants and says 'good job' and says 'let's go, I'm hungry'. It leaves me feeling unfulfilled and like it's all about him! I have to ask him to finish me up and it gets annoying! What do I do to make him understand that I have needs just like him and that he makes me feel bad sometimes. whenever I ask him to finish me up, he says 'is sex all you care about?' Um, excuse me, you're the one who wanted to have sex in the first place! What about me!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Don't do anything to him first! Blokes are never interested once they have been. It's a known fact. You are lucky he doesn't want to lie down and have a bloody sleep!!! Do all the love making bit on you first then give him so attention and you will both be satisfied. But NEVER the other way.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPonungalung, lol. Sorry, but I'm not interested in a guy with a 7 year old kid. Aside from the fact that you're way too old for me, I also would like to start with a BABY baby...haha. And also, I'm not going to leave him just because he doesn't sexually satisfy me without being asked and then sighing 'jesus, all you want is sex'. There's more to us than a romp in the sheets and a snack after.
It sounds better because usually only girls would understand this. How many guys have a problem getting off on ten minutes? lol I'm guessing not many.
Us girls need to be warmed up a little before we can get to the good stuff. My boyfriend...Well, I now know the meaning of 'rode hard and put away wet'.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Sure, you thank Juliette and Heather. What, it doesn't sound good coming from a guy? They wrote the same thing I did (plus I wrote it first) and I didn't have to write a book to get my point across. LOL.
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female
reader, JulietteElise +, writes (16 February 2007):
 aww, your welcome! thank you so much! and i know how u feel... ive been in the same situation before! but good luck! messege me if you want to talk more :0D i'm sure the things heather and i said will help a lot though :0)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Heather and Juilette. It sounds great coming from another woman!!
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female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (15 February 2007):
 Well you obviously care about each other a lot, and can be good together in bed, but if you`re not now getting the satisfaction that you used to have; and that you know you can have again, you obviously need to sit down and have a good talk. It might be an idea to suggest that perhaps he could make you orgasm first, and then, ( obviously he will get off on that! ) he can enjoy your wetness, either with his tongue, or his penis. After you`ve both come, and are both relaxed, you can both eat! Alternatively, there`s nothing more sexy than sharing Food in Bed! With Love, Heather xx
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reader, JulietteElise +, writes (15 February 2007):
I have an idea, why don't you have him make you cum before he ever cums? My bf has problems with premature ejaculation, so to make up for it he gets me to cum before we even have sex, that way even if it didnt last long i still got to cum, not to mention i'm extremly wet for sex then. This would work in sex easily, but don't demand it though... maybe brining it up as part of the forplay... if there isnt any you might have to demand forplay since women dont have a simple "on" and "off" switch after all!, but anyways bringing it up like "you know what would really make me hott/want you" etc... Eventually he will realize that makeing you feel good, allows you to make him feel even better! Also, i'm a huge beliver in equality when it comes to oral sex, so don't do him unless hes willing to do you! (either have him do you first, or have diffrent days when its all about one person's pleasure or the other).You do need to talk with him about this all though, since getting angryer and angryer without telling him is going to build up so much resentment that you will get into a huge fight, and then not only will you both be angrey and upset, but the problem won't be solved. So have a calm conversation when he isnt busy watching tv or anything like that, and when you guys arnt about to have sex and esspically not afterwards when you are upset. Just remember as well that guys are a lot diffrent when it comes to sex, etc, since they can get aroused so quickly, and, as you have found out, are unaroused and ready to do whatever else just as quickly or quicker. And he needs to be made aware that women take a long time to "warm up" and don't cool down as quickly (unless they are mad/upset of course).
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reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (15 February 2007):
How about this:
Why don't you tell him that you want "finished up" first. Then you'll take care of him. Ask and ye shall receive. If he's not willing to take care of you, tell him you'll find someone that will.
You can tell him Ponungalung is only a phone call away. LOL.
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reader, kenny  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 You have got to say something otherwise the problem will only get worse and he will think as long as he gets his pleasure thats it.
Sit him down and tell him your feelings, tell him how unfulfilled and unsatisfyed you feel, and you have needs also.
Hopefully after this he may a little more sypathetic to your needs.
Good luck x
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