A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has always wanted us to have a threesome with another girl, so a few weeks ago i agreed for his birthday to invole a friend of mine who is Bi-Sexual. He said he loved it and would like to do it again with the same girl, i enjoyed it, but i thought it was a one off, now he seems bored with me and always talks about getting her round again, i feel so stupid for giving in, is it my fault that things have got bad. It's really started to get to me and causes rows between us. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): You need to stand firm and say NO!!! You are not happy with this and you did it as a one off for his birthday. He doesnt have a birthday every day of the week. If he wants to go with someone else, then say bon voyage and get lost. Do not do this just because he wants it. Tell him straight. And forget about doing it one more time, just to keep him happy, then it will be another and another. NO way! Stop it right now.
He is a very lucky bloke to have a girl like you to give him that for his birthday, mine will be getting cds and like it!!!
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, ohwoesme  +, writes (14 October 2007):
Well I dont know if this will help but My ex was alway's asking me for a threesome and he would push the issue..I didn't ... I didn't for 3 reason's; I was not comfortable enough at the time with myself, our relationship, or him.
Having threesomes requires a incredible amount of trust and security between a couple. This may sound wrong but when we where togeather, I suggested that we swing with another couple and ya know what .. he said no. See most people have that double standard unfortunately. I would talk to your partner and tell him, he is making you uncomfortable by bringing this one time thing up and tell him in assertive nice manner..go from there...
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (14 October 2007):
Tell him you'll set it up one more time if he agrees to never ask for it again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): You did not bank on your bf enjoying this as much as he did. And I have to ask "what did you honestly expect?" Playing around with sexual boundaries is very dangerous to one's relationship and I think you are finding this out. Apparently this situation has stimulated a compulsive sexually needy behavior in your bf. I think it's time to negotiate a strict sexual exclusivity with him and explain that this will never happen again. If he is unwilling, you may have to reassess you relationship with him. If he is displaying signs of such sexual behaviors, the next thing he may resort to is outright infidelity and deceitfulness. The trust between you both has been damaged...I think it's time to set some tough boundaries or let him go. If he keeps this up...your relationship will never be the same.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 October 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I don't think it's your fault at ALL that things have gone bad. I think your boyfriend is being selfish. Now I realize that he's all excited about having a threesome, but now he's pushing it. He needs to lay off.
I think you need to make it clear to him that it was a one time thing and the more he bugs you about doing it again, the less you WANT to do it. I think your boyfriend is just too absorbed in the excitement to realize that your feelings are also getting really hurt.
You're clearly a very generous girlfriend with a kinda selfish boyfriend.
Good luck, sweetness... don't let him push you into doing another one if you don't want to.
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): Tell him you want to involve another guy into the threesome. AND SEE HOW HE LIKES THAT1
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 October 2007):
 You aren't stupid. He is. It's your relationship with him. All though you involved this other person, she's not an actual part of the relationship. You gave him a gift. One that so many guys wish they could experience at least once. Just because you go out and take a new car for a test drive, doesn't mean you can have both cars.
He needs to realize that this behavior is taking advantage of the generosity of this single incident. You didn't have to invite her, or allow this to happen. He should feel good that you cared enough about him to give him something he wanted.
I'm sorry he's treating you this way. Sometimes you give a gift and maybe he didn't have the maturity to treat it as a gift.
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