A
female
age
51-59,
*hitewitch
writes:I recently got back with an ex. He had left me a few months earlier but I still loved him and was happy to take him back but after a few days he started saying he needed time alone etc, then I found out he was back with the girl he had previously dumped me for!!! He actually brought her to his house which is next door to me. He sent me some really horrid texts saying I forced my way back into his life etc so in retaliation I told her about me and him being together the week before and the fact that we'd shared a bed. She has now left him, I am getting really wicked texts from him and I feel really bad about it all. Did I do the right thing by telling her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Consider yourself lucky that you now know his true character and perhaps call the police and get them in on this....if he is your next door neighbor, I'd think about moving....if you rent....and if you own, I'd think about renting out your place and moving to a new neighborhood....I suppose he is the immature jerk who did that to your tires.....what a loser! Your speaking to the other woman made you an enemy to him, but it doesn't deserve this kind of criminal vandalism!
A
female
reader, whitewitch +, writes (10 March 2009):
whitewitch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell let me update you. Since telling her and receiving a really nasty text from him all went quiet. Until i came out to get into my car for work Monday morning and found that my tyres had been slashed and every panel has been scratched. Has been passed off by insurance as a write off. I'm pretty sure who's done it but i cant prove anything. I am so angry but can't do anything about it. And what is going to happen next? I really cant believe all this is happening to me. It's all a nightmare at the moment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): No, I really don't think you did the right thing. It doesn't sound like he was offering either of you a committed or exclusive relationship was he? The two of you just may have wanted it to be that way, but probably knew that he was seeing other women, but having sex with someone else probably hurt you, but honestly did you just "assume" that he was being sexually faithful just because he slept with you again, did you say those words that you would only have sex if you were back together in an exclusive sexual relationship and whether or not you would be OK with dating (not sleeping with) others? Do you even know that when she came over to his house if it was to spend the night or to be sexually intimate???
So yeah, he was a jerk for not being totally open and honest, but you were probably out of line contacting the other woman....after all, your problem is with him, not her and she did not deserve to be hurt by you with this information, I do understand your jealousy and hurt over i though since he was being a jerk and making stuff up about you forcing your way back in....how immature is he?
Learn your lesson about this guy, he is a game player and very immature and mean, you don't have time for guys like him I hope.
Whats done is done, so just let it go and move on.....
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A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (6 March 2009):
 ...This is tough, I think you kind of did the right thing, but also not.
You did because you told her what was going on and she obviously didn't like that, therefor broke up with him, if she hadn't of known, she would have been oblivious.
However, the fact that you told her in retaliation to something and maybe the way you said it might have hurt her.
Him on the other hand, it's his fault that all this is going on. He had it coming, she probably would have found out one way or another, he's blaming you for telling her, but it's his fault for getting back together with her and you, it just doesn't make sense.
If I were you I'd get your number changed too.
Maybe, if you told the girl about you and him in anger or spitefullness, you could apologize for speaking to her that way, it's not her fault really, it's just a suggestion, you obviously don't have too.
Either way I hope this helps and hope everything turns out OK.
Good Luck :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): YES YES YES you sure did the right thing! He has to answer to his actions. Please do me a HUGE favor. Do not take him back again because he will just continue to do this to you if he thinks you will just take him back no matter what. Forget this jerk and move on to one worthy of you. Best of luck.
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