A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 and my wife is 26 we have a baby 5 months ago ( Tried normal delivery but she had to have a c section). She had a few complications with pregnancy like high blood pressure, high blood sugar and several uti but the baby was. Healthy. He was about a month early but she went into labor without being induced. We only had sex a couple of times during early pregnancy because she was nervous about complication. And we didn't try to have sex again until 4 months after he was born. Mostly because she was nervous about getting pregnant again until she got on birth control. They tried to put in a IUD but it didn't work because they said her cervix was turned and they could not put it in. So she got the pill. When we tried to have sex again she said it was very painful we tried a good lube and foreplay but even just one finger was still very painful. We talked about it and she said she can't get aroused even when she tries by herself. I don't know what to do we have tried different positions and different techniques to get her excited but nothing works. She is also on an antidepressant since he was born. I have heard that one of the side effects is low or no sex drive. Is there anything we could try to help her get aroused/ excited? Like a "female Viagra" that works or some other sort of stimulation? We have not tried toys but she has never expressed any interest in them and is kind of shy about talking about them. We had no problem before she got pregnant and she could lubricate on her own and have an orgasm from vaginal sex. Can anyone help us?
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cervix, foreplay, her ex, orgasm, sex drive, shy, the pill, vagina, viagra Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 I'm betting it's a combo of the anti-depressant (she needs to talk to the doctor to try different ones that don't decrease libido or ability to orgasm.
secondly a bad pregnancy and an unplanned section will mess with her body and her brain... and her fear of getting pregnant again may be shutting her down
also if she's still in pain (and it can take several months after a section for her body to feel even remmotely normal) that will decrease her drive.
I had two unplanned sections. thankfully both pregnancies and babies were fine... but I did not even heal fully externally with the second one for nearly 2 months... and then the scar is numb.... and the emotional scar is hard too.
having a baby by C-section messes with your feelings of being a woman... truly you feel inferior to mom's that have vaginal deliveries.
Sadly OP you can't force this but by 6 months she needs to be concerned too. I had sections and after 3 months of healing (and it does take 3 months to feel "normal" in my experience) she needs to start considering discussing the problem with her doctor.
The problem is that even if she gets her drive back (and i am betting it's the anti-depressant) she will still have days she does not want to be touched by you... and you have to respect that...
Is she nursing the baby too?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 March 2013):
I think the best thing to do is just let her have a break, and not pressure her. If she's on antidepressants, and had a bag pregnancy, chances are right now sex just isn't what she really wants. Take care of her and the baby, run her baths, help as much as you can and she'll start to naturally come around as she feels better. But the best thing to do is just let her get better right now. She'll appreciate it a lot more when she feels better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013): She needs to see a specialist. No one on this site is qualified to give you medical advice without a medical examination. If her regular OB-GYN can't treat the problem, she will need a referral to see someone specializing in the
field.
The problem you are describing requires medical attention from a qualified health professional.
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