A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Background:I met him in mid June,he asked for my number and he called every day since he received my number, then we had our first date in mid July. We have seen each other about 10 times since then, and now the phone calls have gone from daily to once or twice a week and an occasional text. (He did take a week to go help his family out of state in mid August and I wonder if that didn't start things becoming less frequent with calling and seeing me). When we started seeing each other it started out at about twice a week and now it is once a week (if his work schedule or helping family doesn't get in the way). We talked about being exclusive with each other so I don't worry that there is someone else. I worry that he is losing interest. He is the one to call, I don't call him. I am 44 and he is 41. When I saw him on Friday last week, he mentioned how about Thursday to see each other again. He called me on Tuesday and mentioned Thursday also. When I hadn't heard from him by mid afternoon on Thursday I did text him "how is your day going, are our plans for tonight still on?" to which he replied "actually no, sorry." I texted back "thank you for letting me know. I hope to see you soon." I will leave it up to him to call or make arrangements to see me again. My question is: Does this seem like average begining relationship stuff or am I right to think he may be losing interest? Thank you for replying to my post.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I just went through the same thing and he ended up breaking up with me 3 weeks ago now. I'm sorry but you are not the only one he's dating. Trust me I fell for it and heard all the excuses: Family problems, stress at work, no time.....
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: He has called and texted reguraly since we last met (almost three weeks ago now). I have taken more initiative and text him first a little more (and to be a little bit flirty)than I was doing and he does respond favorably. The last time he called me (which was last week, 9-17-10) he said he definitely wanted to make time to see me (and that he was sorry he let two weeks go by without seeing me)and we would see about the following week (which is now, and I've yet to hear back from him with any plans-but it is early in the week). I am also thinking that I need to observe that his actions match his words. Thank you for any further replies.
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A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (11 September 2010):
The comfortable-ness generally comes after the relationship becomes more serious. As you said, you've only had 10 dates, over a span of several months. Usually the beginning should have more calls, more dating, more spending time together and getting to know each other. And getting close. Once that's established, the contact might thin down a bit.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also wonder if he could be feeling comfortable enough in the relationship that he feels he doesn't need to call as much, etc?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Sadly it does sound like he has lost some degree of interest in you. It's hard to know the exact reason why he's gone off the boil but maybe someone else has come back on the scene or perhaps it just took him a little while to realise you and he arn't compatible.
I know how upsetting it can be when things start going the wrong way. You have two choices...
Wait and see what happens, sit it out and see if he comes back around...
or forget him and move on with your life.
So sorry x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Hmmm its hard to say really, he may just want to take things slowly but you may be better just asking him... dont go in all guns blazing but just ask in a calm and collect way.
As well have you ever thought that by you not contacting him he may think your not interested?
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A
female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (10 September 2010):
I would say that generally, if someone is interested, they will make time for you. They will call and want to hear from you. They will try to meet up. One thing I'm not sure why you are doing, is not calling him first or making any arrangements. People like to be chased a little too, and have some effort put in by the other person. So I would try to call him (not excessively) and make plans. If you find that he's not responding still, then chances are it's time to find someone new.
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