A
female
age
30-35,
*andyCakes
writes:I think all of us girls (and most of the guys out there) are perfectly aware that it is not only normal but common for a woman to only orgasm with clitoral stimulation.But, I think my boyfriend doesn't know that this is the case. Because I am loud in bed, I think he just assumes I'm always orgasming. But I never have. I know what an orgasm feels like and it's like...climbing a mountain, you know when you get to the top and fall off the other side. He asked me early in our sexual relationship if I ever orgasmed, and I told him no. He seemed disheartened so I explained that it wasn't him, it was very common for girls, etc and that it didn't really matter. I've always found vaginal stimulation (though never ending in a climax) more fun than clitoral. Plus, after I orgasm I'm just hornier than I was before so I pretty much don't do it. I masturbate maybe once a month...I've been a bad girl. Whenever he makes a comment after sex, I just smile instead of answering. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I think he is exceptionally good in bed, but I think he would probably feel disheartened if he knew I still hadn't ever come. I'm 19, and he is 18 (though I am really only 5 months older than him). We have been dating for...a year and nearly 9 months. We have a good strong loving relationship. We are very open with each other. We plan to get married some day. You'd think if I could confess to my high school aged boyfriend that I want to marry him, I could tell him this. But it's a touchy subject.Despite being a virgin when I met him (and he was not, but generally speaking we don't count his first time since it was a mistake, he was depressed, and he didn't actually want to have sex he just did it to shut the girl up) I know more about sex than he does. I had already researched guys enough to know what felt good. In all of our time together, I have brought him to orgasm many times. It probably averages out to about 2-3 times daily. Don't get me wrong, to me blowing him is probably as close to a religious experience as I can manage and my love for it is only seconded by sex. He has never made me come. Generally, I don't mind too much. I have everything I want in a relationship a smart, strong, handome man who loves me...but still...I find him attractive, and when I am with him I am pretty horny. It does get difficult for me some times because I would like it if he could do that for me. I am experienced at blowing him through practice, and well, he's not that great at the female equivalent. I find being eaten out to be embarrassing, but at the same time I think I would like it if he was better. I just don't have the heart to tell him he's doing it wrong. I've broached the subject a few times, but have gotten scared and it's fallen through.So, my questions: 1. Due to having a rather large amount of pubic hair, I've never been comfortable naked, especially not with my legs spread wide. I've never been able to wear a bathing suit in public, and have only recently found something that removes the hair. Because of this, I find being eaten our embarrassing because his face is so close to something that I often wish looked better. How do I get over this fear?2. How do I kindly broach the subject of orgasms to him? I don't know how to put "It's been nearly two years and I still haven't come" in a nice way. I never want to upset or hurt him. I don't want him to feel like he's inadequate.
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depressed, horny, orgasm, pubic hair, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CandyCakes +, writes (18 March 2009):
CandyCakes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirstly, thanks for the hair response, but actually I've dealt with it. I've found something that works really well, but REGARDLESS since I lived for so long with hair, I sort of have a complex about my vagina. I'm not 100% comfortable spreading my legs if a face is going to be down there. But I know I need to get over this by doing it! But it's so easy to just...not.
Secondly, thank you for the responses about how to broach the subject. Next time I have some free time with him I'll broach the subject. I don't really feel awkward talking to him ever, but I just didn't know how to say it without hurting his feelings. But I never thought I could bring it up and not mention orgasms. So, thanks for that!
And yeah, haha, a lifetime without orgasms sounds painful, but I'd do it for him.
A
female
reader, Pyro_Dimples +, writes (17 March 2009):
 Babe use a razor...or hell maybe he likes it hairy...You just have to ask...Be honest with him...
As for the other While you guys are in bed be a tease. Be demanding. Guys get turned on by a girl that knows what she wants. If that doesn't work there are always ways to show him what you want..if you know what I mean..lol..good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): If I were him, I'd want to improve. Pure and simple. You don't have to tell him that it hasn't been working for the last two years. But starting today, give subtle hints about what he might do differently. You have the advantage of knowing what works for you -- now it's your job to teach him! He can't read your mind, after all.
As for the hair, why not trim it if it's an issue for you? Better yet, get him to help. Having an excuse to play down there sounds like great fun.
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (17 March 2009):
 1. Why don't you just trim your pubic hair if this is such a worry for you?
2. Don't tell him that you've never come, it's not a good way to start the conversation. Instead say something like, "I'd like to try something new in bed, and see if it makes me feel good"... this sets the mood better than "By the way, you've never made me orgasm, so, let's get cracking." However, next time he asks if you've ever come with him, tell the truth. Say "no, but I don't hold it against you. However I think it would be fun to try to make me come..." Or something like that.
You better sort this out before you get married. A lifetime is a long time to go without orgasms.
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