A
female
age
51-59,
*akimb
writes:I am separated and I met a man who is also separated. We have been seeing each other for a year and a half. When I first met him he explained that his ex can cause problems and so he wanted to keep things quiet about us. He further indicated he didn't want to introduce his daughter to me because she would be questioned by his ex and he didn't want to put her in that type of situation. Fair enough! So, a year and a half later, I still only see him about 2 times every two weeks. If he'd introduce his daughter to me we could do things all together but he is still not interested in doing that! I am to a point where I am willing to take whatever hassle his ex wants to give! Am I wasting my time...or will my patience pay off in the end? I really like him!
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 You have a very understanding nature.
Hes lucky to have you.
Sounds like she gave him a right ol runaround!
Hope it all works out, and hopefully soon you will get to meet his daughter.
It must be frustrating for you. You could all have a good time.
All the best.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, hakimb +, writes (2 August 2007):
hakimb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is the one who left him and moved in with another guy! He probably shouldn't be allowing her to be in control of all his moves. She left once for another guy and then came back and he took her. Then a few months later she met someone else and left again! Perhaps he is just being cautious...incase I decide to leave??? Anyhow, I really do appreciate everyone's input. It makes me feel better reading other opinions! I should also say this guy is extremely laid back and I would tend to bet that he is a doormat to everyone in his family and they know that! Sometimes I think I should move on but then I think that if he's only trying to protect his daughter then I'm being awful selfish! Anyhow, I do appreciate the opinions! Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
Still doesnt make much sense to me. But if you are happy with the set up, then why the question in the first place?I always say, if somethings not a problem for you, then its not a problem.C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 So if he's been "seperated" for a year and a half, what's the hold up? Is there some reason he hasn't yet filed for divorce? I don't think you can expect him to introduce you to his daughter if she's going to blab it to his wife. He is still technically married and in some states, the person committing adultery stands the chance of losing everything. I think that's the topic you need to be discussing because once he's divorced, I suspect the problem will resolve itself. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hakimb +, writes (2 August 2007):
hakimb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all to your answers so far...I probably knew the responses before I even asked the question. lol I am 100 percent sure though that he is not with his ex. He is very comfortable whenever I go to his place. I also work with a friend of his who knows he is indeed separated but does indicate to me that his ex is a total freak! I would see him every day if I could. His arrangements with his ex is seeing his daughter 1 week, then she has her for a week and then him again and so on. Therefore, he is only available for the one week he doesn't have her and we see each other on an average of twice during that week! Thanks again for all your input, it's very much appreciated!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 You've put up with this fishy behavior for a year and a half? You only see each other two times every two WEEKS? And you wonder if you are wasting your time? In a nutshell, sure looks like a huge waste of time to me.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (2 August 2007):
My first instinct here is that the guy is not separated - does he allow you to ring him on his landline at home? Either he is still married or together with his so called ex or they have an agreement where they may be on a trial separation and have agreed with each other not to see anybody else during this trial period.By what you have said though you haven't said anything that doesn't make me convinced that you are little more than a mistress in his extra-marital affair. Try saying this to him and ask him to prove otherwise.There is the slight chance that he is so embarressed or completel;y ashamed of his ex or his daughter and this is why he doesn't want you to meet them but the fact he wants to keep this secret says that this is an affair that he has got to keep quiet for other reasons.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
Alarm bells would be ringing for me before now. There is more to this than hes letting on i would be thinking.If you 2 are a couple, why are you only seeing eachother on average once a week? Have you spoken to him about that? Is that a joint decision or one of yours?I personally think if you are going to have a 'proper' relationship, you should of been able to meet his daughter long before now. Caution when introducing children is fair enough, but a year and a half?I would be looking into this a bit deeper if i was in your shoes. But obviously im only going on what you have put in here.Good luckC xxxxx
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