A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently placed a personal ad saying i m looking for a mate, I had over 20 response , most of the guys were playing or seeking sex so I finally came across a guy who sound great anyways we chated though email then he gave me his number , we talked on the phone he said he's in the military and that he lives in puerto rico. Its been a week now and he tells me he loves me on the phone and he wants to meet up within weeks and get married. Im a single parent now so I'm lonely ,but not so crazy for love. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): This sounds familiar to post from last year of a woman from the UK that was lonely and became a victim of an internet crime. The Solider that needs money so he can return home.I say don't trust someone you are unable to meet locally and in a public place.Cut this Guy loose.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I agree it's crazy talk on his part.
He's never met you and he wants to marry you? Even you know that's crazy talk.
Do not even entertain the idea of telling him to back it up.... he won't. He will steamroll you...
best to cut it off totally.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (18 December 2012):
This is way too soon. He is either trying to scam you, or he is mentally or emotionally unbalanced.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (18 December 2012):
 Cut him off and move on. Like Staceily said, he's either legitimately insane or trying to scam you. How convenient that he wants to get married but lives far enough away that meeting won't work. Unfortunately this is not real, whatever it is.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (18 December 2012):
 I want to clarify- you don't want to marry someone after a week period, whether you have met or not. Also online dating is fine, but try to find people you are able to have a relationship with in person rather than in another country.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe  +, writes (18 December 2012):
 What he is saying can sound intimidating and it is. However, I think what often happens here is that people fall in love with an idea. Because you haven't met, he can project onto you all his hopes dreams and wants and these can remain relatively undisturbed by the reality of who you are. I would imagine he is too. Id try and dampen down his expectations, deflect his expressions of affection with 'thats nice, thank you', change the conversation.Whether you want to meet or not is down to you. If he is full on now, meeting can go one of two ways, he can come back down to earth and become more realistic or he will go off the scale. I'd do it in the public place if you do it, take all the usual steps and be safe.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2012): OH MY GOD!!! PLEASE look out this is the classic "Nigerian love scam" I am sure that if you "Google" his email, or reserve look up his picture on tinyeye or google images you will find out he is a SCAMMER, CONSIDER yourself warned.Look at forums like 409eater, on the love scamming section, this is WAY TOO COMMON. On couple of weeks he will ask you for money, for the ticket/ papers/ something for him to come and see you, or money for cellphone/laptop to keep communicating with you.THIS IS A LIE!!! For your own sake do not fall for this! Please google this all too common Nigerian scam, their favourite lines are their re stationed overseas on the military adn are divorced/wife is dead and they have kids, or they work for an oil company overseas.If you dont believe google an email locator, and copy and paste the header of his email he sent you(site will explain how) and it will tell you the REAL location it was from which most likely will be ghana or some place of the sort!!!!!!!!Tell him that if he "loves you" he will send you a pic of himself holding a dated sign with your name or something like that. I bet he either photshops it or chickens out.YOU WILL BE WARNED, matter of time until he asks for money!
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A
female
reader, Elza  +, writes (18 December 2012):
Try Skype calls with video, ask more about him and his life, family, aspirations. You can see if he is a fruitcake pretty soon. Or you won't like how he looks or his attitude. Talking about marriage just after a few telephone calls - well this is romantic and enjoyable, but not too sane. Take the most of it (which is pleasant chit-chat and boosting your confidence), but move on. Best of luck, you'll recognize the one!
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (18 December 2012):
He is either trying to run a scam, purposefully choosing lonely single mothers like yourself. Or he is certifiably insane because you can't be in love and want to marry someone you have never met. What you do is run a mile the opposite direction. Meet someone who is legit and someone you can see in person and develop a real relationship.
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