A
female
age
41-50,
*uttercup76
writes:I am more confused now more than ever, I split up with the one guy who kept asking for money and he did pay me back and said he was sorry that he shouldn't have done that and that he truly loves me and wants to work things out but they are still issues there I'm just not sure he is ready for an adult relationship and I had started trying to give my child's father another chance but I have found that the only reason that I really want that is because it was comfortable and easy and he can support me financially and I know that sounds kinda cold but he to is a very cold person, buy he is trying more than ever to be the person he was when we guest got together he said he was glad that we split up that it have him time to think and realize what he done wrong in the relationship faint get me wrong I'm plenty to blame also we both could have done better, what should I do. Who should I chose or should I chose at all.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 December 2012):
 I would never give up happiness to be financially secure.
however, if he is truly trying and you think he will continue to try then you may want to give him a chance.... if you think you can be happy with him.
A
female
reader, Buttercup76 +, writes (19 December 2012):
Buttercup76 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the one who was talking about people having children before they were married, well i was married to my baby's father only to find out he was married to another woman also, that is part of the reason we are not together. He is a good man just made some wrong decisions in his life and now he is trying to do the right thing,, the only thing is that i'm questioning my feelings for him,, part of me still has feelings for him but part is having trouble forgiving the deception.. With the other guy I like and enjoy his company but I don't know the extent that i willing to take the relationship and he already talks about marriage after just a few months and that scares me, he seeems needy so i guess im trying to decide if its more important for me to go with my wants or my needs.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (18 December 2012):
Yet again today, not a religious assertion but a relationship one. Why do people not get married before having children? It seems like the norm these days, but for the life of me I cannot understand committing to child before you fully commit to each other.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (18 December 2012):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) No, honestly. If you want to choose, it's ultimately your decision, but if it is only due to financial problems. It's not worth it, if there is no connection and all the "relationship" is, is bitterness and not to mention full of issues, there's nothing but deceiving. I don't think it is worth it, if you need help with money, I suggest you work out something with the government, like see if you're eligible for health and or food stamps. Just an option.
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