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female
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*dchild
writes: My boyfriend is in Iraq. Things were going so good and then the other day he was hurt; not bad physicaly but emotionaly real shook up. Now he has started saying things like it's not fair for me to have to go through this and worry about him. I feel like he is pushing me away and not sure how to handle it. I hate to do the female panic thing and push, but still want him to know that I chose to be here for him. He hasn't contacted me for the last couple days and I can't just up and call him because he is in Iraq. HELP Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): I understand your situation I have a boyfriend in Iraq too. Sometimes my man says the same thing because of all the things that he sees all the time, but on the other hand he asks me if I'm sure that I want to wait for his return my responce is always the same of course. As far as him not writing you maybe its cause he has a lot going on my boyfriend didnt write me for a week because he was so busy so just have patients and all will go ok. I agree with the statement that said, " give him the space that he needs and let him be sure."
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 September 2005):
 All you can do is give him the space that he needs and let him be sure. Its obvious that he's traumatised over something and has reevaluated his life and whether he wants you in it is entirely up to him and he alone. You can keep supporting him and make him realise that you do still care for him, which i think you should, but if this carries on for way too long (you'll know when), you should consider moving on. From what you're saying, I gather he's still in love with you, just unsure of the situation of things. But then again, you have to be fair on yourself as well. Hope this helps!!
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female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (16 September 2005):
 Sounds like something happened and he is in shock. Reality is starting to settle in and the thought of something happening to him is alittle bit more real now and he doesnt know how to handle it.
This is when you as a girlfriend need to step up tp the plate. He is scared and that can cause two effects. One he wants to be as close to people as possible or the complete opposite. If he chooses option B that is because he doesnt want what he is going through to effect everyone close to him. Therefore, you need to make sure he knows there is nothing that is going to make you leave him. Be there for him, comfort him, try not to get mad at the little things. He is going through a lot right now which is sooo understandable. Be that understanding girlfriend. If he is not writing, can you? If so write alot of letters. Even if he doesnt write back right away, understand he is scared.
I am sure in the end things will work out, as for now be strong.
Dee =)
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male
reader, rockmanco2 +, writes (16 September 2005):
You have to understand that if you boyfriend is saying these things its out of love. He cares so much for you that he dosent want to see you get hurt. As for not contacting you he thinks its the best way to let you go and thats what he wants. In his mind you dont think about him for awile the split wont be so bad for you. Though it may be hard for you to wate he will call, but not till things cool down a little. Give him time and when he dose call dont push the issue just talk about home and how much you miss him. In the end what ever happens remember you will survive this. I hope what ive said will help you.
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