A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:On New Years Day of this year my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me. He actually told me on Christmas Eve that he was interested in someone else. I've been through this before, so I just thought he was going threw another one of his crisis and he needed a few days to himself and we would be fine in a week. Boy was I wrong!! He left, changed his number and his address. I found him a week later living with a woman I knew. What a slap in the face. Every day was a struggle for me, by the time March rolled around I was a little better until he called to tell me he missed me. I was happy yet mad at the same time. He said every thing I wanted to hear. He never did call back until late May to tell me he was getting married and he left a voice mail!! So to make a very long story short he got married last weekend on 7/7/07 to a homewrecker he's supposedly only been with for 6 months. They are also 5 months pregnant. I was with him for six years he never asked me to marry him, I am totally crushed. He took every thing from me. I really feel like a looser in front of our friends. So how do I get over this punch to the gut?
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female
reader, igby  +, writes (20 July 2007):
 From his actions he sounds like he is has no idea what he wants, who he is, or how to exercise any control over his emotions. Playing around with your heart like that, full of empty words, its just not fair on you. Naturally you would be crushed, and you have every right to be, as well as every emotion from heartbroken to furious to worthless. You are not a loser for loving, even if it does end well (almost never does), your friends are there to support you. We all face break ups, crushing moments and having a strong network of loving friends is vital.In regards to him, if he calls trying the 'i miss you' stunt (even though he probably really does mean it)...calmly tell him not to call. While your still holding onto the slightest hope of you two getting back together you won't be able to move on.As to how to get over it. there are lots of things you can do to get back in touch with the things that make YOU happy. Take up a class of some sort, dance?, yoga? cooking? start regular walks? whatever excites you, or something you have wanted to try for ages but never had a reason to. This is the perfect reason! Take each day as it comes, don't rush the grieving process, but time will heal. Get back in touch with the most important person in this, YOU!
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 You should not feel like a loser in front of your friends you have done nothing wrong, you hold your head up high and move on, and think yourself lucky that you are out of this relationship.
If he can treat you with such little respect after the time you spent together, he is not worth any time spent thinking about.
You take care of yourself and i hope things work out for you.
xx
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Oh Hunni. How horrid. He's been a right nasty thing there. Especially ringing you to tell you he misses you then getting married.
Maybe he did miss you, then found out the lady he's with is pregnant and felt obliged to marry her? Or maybe he did that to see what reaction he would get.
I don't blame you for being totally crushed. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better right now in time. All I can say is time is a great healer. Next time he rings, if he does again, and tries to tell you he misses you hang up on him. It isn't fair to play on your emotions like that.
I doubt your friends think you are a looser. Is there a close friend to you, who won't go behind your back to him, that you can talk to about how you are feeling rather then struggle alone?
As hard as it seems right now it will get easier and the pain will fade. Just give yourself time.
xxxxxxxx
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