A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Apologies for the length of this, but the problem is really worrying, and I can't deal with it!I'm a father of two, with one 16-year-old son, and one 22-year-old son, at university in Manchester.My 16-year-old son has joined a dangerous cult. The cult is apparently very dangerous and the source of controversy locally.I found out about our son's problems off a good family friend, who said he'd seen him practising the cult with other cult members in a field locally. He said he was filming his family on a day trip out, when he spotted my son, so he had footage of it - and said he didn't confront him, in case he caused a scene.Me and my wife are worried about him - we just don't know how to deal with this - as no-one in our family has ever been involved in anything like this, religion isn't a big part of our lives. No-one's ever been involved in cults before, either.Me and my wife confronted our son about it, but he just yelled at us and went to his room, where he was listening to loud rock music (which had lyrics considered offensive, and Satanic references!). I then opened the door and found him sitting in just his underwear with headphones on, reciting something. Our son said to us "DON'T SLAG OFF THE CULT, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!"His grades have been suffering: he used to get high grades and be interested in his schoolwork, now the cult seems to take up all his time. He doesn't even eat at the same table as us, preferring to eat fast food up in his bedroom. He shows no interest in anything else in life apart from the cult.I asked his older brother if he knew anything about this, but he said no, and asked me what I was going on about, he said that his brother seemed OK, just a bit stressed but nothing odd.I asked friends and family for advice, but no-one had any advice, they just said speak to the headmaster - should we do this??My son just seems to do anything and everything related to this cult, and refuses to participate in anything we do, claiming "the cult doesn't approve of this or that..."He's even started becoming less concerned about his appearance - previously he used to make sure he looked excellent every day.I've tried cutting off his pocket money, taking away his privileges (computer/TV/going out/socialising) but he refuses to be drawn away from this cult. He's even dressing as the cult asks him to, and complains about everything in life, insisting the cult is right about everything.How can our family deal with the situation, and has anyone got any good sources of advice (Internet, etc.) that we can turn to??I've seen this site before: my wife likes reading it, saying it's a good insight into why people are the way they are, and I can't help but agree with her!all advice appreciatedthanks, Neil
View related questions:
money, underwear, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): I know this thread is old, but I think rather than forcing him out of his cult, you should try to understand his beliefs and work backwards in trying to get to the source of his change. Rather than forbid him to do what he wants, continue to try to have an open communication with him.
People can argue that it's a parents job to pry the children away from harm's way, but when done without tact and strategy, misfortune may often happen. Even if you manage to get him away, he may never speak to you ever again. Yes, he's safe, but having a broken family isn't good either.
Any update on this since?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): i'm really sorry to hear about your son.
try contacting your nearest cult information people.
look up steven hassan , margaret singer and raphael aron on hear their work is very easy to read and understand.
the main thing to do is keep all communications going with your son, dont be judge mental just say your interested in finding out more and what things about the group have attracted him to join.
make sure he knows you love him , be patient with him, try to avoid confrontations with him because you could end up pushing him away.
with my daughter we tried the school and the police and had very little help.the only people that have really been helpful is the cult info service.
i'm not sure what part of the world your from but even if you contact one of the groups online it will help.
try http://www.cultinfo.org.au/
just make sure you read everything you can, find out as much as you can and just try to be seen as an interested loving parent.
good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Wow Neil, this is a very touchy problem. I know back in the 70's there were all kinds of cults and there were professional "de-programmers" who would try to reverse the cult's brainwashing. I'm sure with all the gang's springing up these days those professionals are still around. The headmaster may be very aware of this cult since it most likely involves some of his students. You may want to contact some of the other parents who have children involved. Strength in numbers. Let me think on this...
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I personally don't think that speaking to the headmaster is such a good thing to do, as i'm not sure that he will be able to do anything and it will make your son believe that everyone is against him and probably push him more into the cult.
Have you any family that live away from you that he could go and stay with, as him being away from the cult would be a good start.
I'm sorry i can offer you nothing else but i do not know much about cult followings.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
