A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, after serious discussion and after just 6 months of marriage, my husband has decided there is something wrong in our relationship and wants a break to see if he can clear his head, he moved out last night, i also felt that there was something wrong, but put it down to stress in his job. However, he is not sure and thinks its more than this and does not know what he wants any longer, i have tried everything to see could i fix it, but he doesn't seem to know what he wants. I have cried and cried so much, i have no tears left. We are selling our house, this was decided prior to our discussion, but now i just feel like splitting the money with him and calling it a day, i am really hurt and thought that once i would marry, it was for life. I had this with another guy in the past (was not married before though) - and it seems to be a pattern for me! Please advise
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a break, money, moved out Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): If i were you i would see this as a chance to start afresh. Take your half and go. Don't wait around for him to clear his head! What about your head? Would he wait around for you to clear you head? Don't be daft, he's a man! Get on with the house sale, take your share of everything and get yourself somewhere to live. Don't hang around for him to decide just what he wants. A kick in the pants for him would be my idea! You deserve better and should go out of your way to get it. Best of Luck.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (20 February 2007):
 I don`t think it`s stress, although stress could be a part of it, I think theres more to it than that. As I see it, you only have two options (neither of them pleasant). No. 1/ Sit tight and wait for your husband to decide what he wants to do, (I presume he`ll ring you to tell you, or come home), and although it`s hard, try to carry on as normal as is possible under the circumstances. When you do hear from him, (obviously you have a right to know what is going on) you can then talk over what`s gone wrong; and decisions may be made. No. 2/ You may wish to make "A clean break", and not give him the chance to do this to you again. As he made the dcision to leave you, you need have no guilt about slowly rebuilding your life. Whichever you choose, I hope you have a strong network of Family & Friends; they will gladly give you their support, which will be a great help. Please remember also, that you can always send an email to this site for advice on anything, and we will always try to give impartial advice. Please let me know what you decide, and how you are, with Love, Heather.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): Sorry to say this but I think your husband is seeing somebody else, heard all this before from a man wanting to 'clear his head - doesn't know what he wants' more like WHO he wants - usually just means times out to test drive another model and doesn't tell you because he can come back if things don't work out with other woman. Men like this are pathetic and don't have the guts to be up front. I would tell him to p-off and get on with your life without him, he is ruining your happiness, the selfish rat.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 Don't blame yourself here, it takes TWO for a relationship not to work properly. All you can do is give him his space to sort his head out.
So let's think of the reasons... it could be, he's seeing someone else and he doesn't know how to tell you, he's so confused about it all that he doesn't know what to do for the best, hence the need for space. Have you noticed a change in his personality? Has communication between you both broken down lately? Were you both still intimate regularly? Has he seemed quieter of late? Was he working late a lot? Did he come in and head straight for the shower? Has your social life dwindled? All these things are signs that he MAY be cheating on you.
Okay, it could also be stress from his work. Has he been complaining of headaches? Does he seem depressed and down all the time? Does he rub his eyes a lot? Does he go to bed early complaining of lethargy and tiredness? All these things are signs of stress.
Give him his space for the time being, let him work things out in his head. He'll be back in touch with you when he's sorted himself out. Don't contact him if possible, let him miss you and for now just hold in there...
Eve
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