A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my current boyfriend for 5 years. We are still relatively young (23), but I feel like it should be okay for us to talk about getting married some day. I don't mean getting married next year or even the next. I just want to talk about it, but whenever I do he tunes out. I then asked him if he could see himself marrying me some day and he said, "i don't know." Is it wrong for me to assume that after 5 years together he should know whether he wants to marry me or not (or at least have a good idea)? It just makes me feel crappy because he knows me so well yet still doesn't know whether he would marry me some day or not. Ugghh... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): He wont marry you leave this relationship otherwise you will be here in another 5 years asking the same question
A
female
reader, krunkqueen  +, writes (21 August 2010):
I think since marriage is a thing women seek more then men it takes them a little longer to realize it ! sad but i think its true ..i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I am in the same boat as you. just stop talking about it and eventually he will come around to knowing what he wants.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Nope! 5 years is a long time..In fact in Sex in the City, Carrie Bradshaw was with Big for 10 years! F that, but Im an impatient girl. U are that age where everyone is finishing college and getting married, and some having babies. Its completely normal to talk about marriage when uve been with someone for a long time. So u guys have never talked about marriage? Do u feel like he is the one u want to spend the rest of ur life with till death do u part? My concern is he doesnt share his views with u on marriage, whether this is something he wants or not. Then again men dont discuss their feelings and sometimes freak or feel pressured when marriage is mentioned (im getting the feeling that this is the case). If marriage is in ur future then u need to try to approach the subject like logical adults, tell him u see this in ur future, dream, or goal and u need to know if he has the same goal in mind as well. However, if he says he doesnt want marriage then I would opt out of that relationship asap..I know 5 years is hard to throw away but if he doesnt share ur view on marriage then he my friend is not "the one"!
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A
female
reader, dijoyful  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 Hes probably just not ready, i kmow 5 years is a long time and he should know what he wants by now, but it doesn't always work like that. Men have to be in the right place in themself and their life to make a commitment, it doesn't mean he will never commit to you, he needs to do it in his own time. Enjoy what you've got together, try to relax, and when he feels its right you will be the first to know.
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