A
female
age
41-50,
*plendid_spiders
writes:Hi! How is everyone today? Okay, I have a question for you all, being I am unable to find an answer no matter where I go or who I ask. So, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly five years now. We were more like best bed buddies up until one year ago. And although we love each other, have moved in together and are having a baby, our sex remains very casual. However, we are VERY affectionate towards each other outside of our sexual activities. I have never, in my life, experienced such a fine line between love and sex, when in a relationship! Look, I'm a writer and I have a very curious mind when it comes to human nature. I'm not in any way complaining about this, but I am curious to see what others have to say about this and if they might know why my boyfriend is this way. And then ontop of it all, we had sex last night and for the first time during sex, he said he loved me! I was shocked! Never before, during sex, had he ever said this. Now, when we are not having sex, he says he loves me several times a day, he's always touching me, kissing me and caressing me. Outside of sex, he's the most affectionate man I've ever known! But when we have sex ... it's just sex: no kissing, no emotion .... just raw passion! Does anyone have an opinion on this? And does anyone know where his "I love you" last night, popped up from? I'd really appreciate all opinions on this. Thanks :)
View related questions:
kissing, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): hmmm. When my boyfriend has said he loves me during sex, I never really read too much into it. I don't know what answer you are looking for. Guys are very blunt. It just means that he really loves you and he is probably very excited about you. Furthermore, no matter how much you try to seperate love and sex you can't. For five years he has been having sex with a women he loves. He has always felt love while you were having sex, no matter how animalistic it was. Now he said it. It crossed his mind. who knows?I mean why is the sky blue? I don't know, why not?
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (9 August 2007):
 This young man sounds like a nice guy. I get the feeling maybe he was shown very little affection as a child and was rarely or not been told that he was loved. This probably stems form childhood,where there is very little affection in the household,and was brought up to believe emotions and feeling were kept to the minimum.(Correct me if I am wrong here Honey). When you do have those special moments together, initiate kissing,touching and caressing,see what reaction you get.
I think you guys should sit down and have a 121 chat, say to him that you are a tactile person and you like showing him how much you love him by expressing yourself, just by kissing, holding hands etc etc. Explain to him this is the most natural feeling in the world when 2 people are united in a relationship. The poor guy is probably feels awkward to show his affections in this way,it will take time but I am sure with a little time and patience he will respond to you. Tell him you love him too, say that he shouldn't feel shy about saying those three words either.
I wish you guys all the best. Keep in touch Hun.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): Sometimes when me and my boyfriend have sex we tell each other we love each other. But with your boyfriend it sounds like an urge to get it out. All the sexual tension and how he was feeling could have made him say it without thinking.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007): hello im good thanks.Maybe he was just proppa turned on. some men get like that
...............................
A
female
reader, lisa kathleen gates +, writes (9 August 2007):
 something has happened to your bloke, maybe a bit of a shock! but a good one and now he is realising how good everything is and how much he actually loves you, it takes alot for a bloke to say they love you, especially during sexytime. my bf says it to me all the time but it is the best whilst your doing it! it makes everything feel great even if at the time your life is falling apart.i definately think he has been shaken up by something, just a feeling. x x x
...............................
|
