A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I acknowledge this is a long and possibly confusing post. I've been heart broken and think I'm losing my mind trying to rationally think about my situation! My boyfriend and i had been together for almost 2 years. Earlier this week he arranged to meet me for dinner, but took me to a cheap, awful restaurant, then dumped me. Only a few days before everything seemed okay, and he treated me as he normally would. He told me he had no feelings for me, but in such a way that would imply he never cared and had no attraction to me in the first place. How can a guy be in a relationship with someone they're not attracted to for 2 years, then all of a sudden dump them and say it meant nothing to him anyway??? Why go to the effort??? Is this to make things easier for him, or he's just a straight out heartless f***??? After 2 years, he dumps me in a disgusting Chinese restaurant, and leaves like nothing ever happened between us. I feel hurt, cheated and outright stupid for allowing myself to become emotionally attached to someone just so they can tear me to pieces. I'm normally very careful of how I allow to know the real me, it's not like I would put my heart on the line for just anyone. He came across as one of the most genuine and trust worthy people I knew, but now I know he was a big fat liar! I feel like I can never trust another man with my emotions again.I know it's over, and to him I may as well be dead, but can anyone offer any advice as to why someone would do this to their partner?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): That's cruel and I feel sorry for you. You didnt derserve that.What comes around goes around, what he has done to you will bite him back one day.
Enjoy your life you are better off without him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): I think the reason he did this in this way is to make it easier for him. To tell you he was never attracted to you is a lie. If he weren't he would have never been with you for 2 years. He did it in a mean way to feed his ego, he is a little worm. If he'd have actually sat you down & talked to you like an adult in a nice, thought out way, it would have been harder on him. For him to dump you the way he did was easy on him at the time. Although if he isn't feeling bad now for the way he did it, he has no soul. I am very sorry but you know that he isn't the one for you if he is going to treat you this way. I know you're hurting & confused babe, I have been there a few times myself. I finally found someone who deserves me. I was in a relationship for 5 years with a guy who started treating me like dirt & hit me & emotionally abused me, saying no one else would ever want me, etc. I was so attached after 5 years that I found it so hard to leave, looking back now I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. I am married with kids to the guy that deserves me. You will find a guy who deserves you. You are a good girl..keep your head up babe.
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A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 Im sorry that you are heartbroken, and after two years you deserve better than that.
Needless, to say its going to take sometime to get over him it takes as long to fall out of love as it did to fall in. Just think, maybe this relationship may have been good and you were happy, but it was not the relationship that you were meant to stay in. That moment in the restaurant was just Gods way of moving him out of your life to make room for someone better.
Love is one of those things that you have to take a chance at. So be grateful for the good times you had with him. I am sure there were some, and look forward to something that will be ten times as good.
I hope that everything works out for you. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 What a coward, the only way he could of done it worse was send you a text. And there are a few more of those type out there as well I am afraid. Its easy to say you are better of without him, but I am sure you dont feel that way yet. The good thing is that you will in time.
I really cant tell you how sorry I am, it must have been torture. But it happens to an awfull lot of us, as adults. As to why he did such a nasty thing, only he knows that. They do say "what goes around comes around"
And you can speculate as much as you like, but it will only rip you apart wondering. Just try to keep busy, and see as much of your friends as possible. I am sure they will help you through it.
It only goes to say that if it didnt work it wasnt right, there will be a better man on the horizon.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Well, this sort of behaviour is supposed to be inbred into the Australian male's psyche isn't it? Rather like the lager adverts for the well-known Aussie 'amber nectar'.
Not all men are like this. I know I'm not.
Stick some pins into a rag doll and imagine it's him, then when you've finished turning it into a pin cushion forget about him and get on with the rest of your life. You're in all probability better off finding another bloke who will treat you as a woman SHOULD be treated - with respect, kindness, some romance and a lot of love.
Phil
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A
female
reader, little miss helpful +, writes (19 September 2007):
 hi hunnie well i know its a stupid question but i hope you're ok?there are lots of reasons why he did what he did some of them you may not like but you asked:he could have found someone elsehe could have got with you on a rebound and just relised what hes donehe could of really cared about you but then his feelings could have changed (trust me that happens)there are loads of possible reasons but the thing is he doesnt deserve you if he treats you like he just did, and everyhting happens for a reason look on the bright side - at least he did it now instead of waiting til you were married etc :-) i know that doesnt help much but its something to think about you finally see him for what he really is. this has happened so you can find someone who will treat you right and take care of you. you will know when that pearson comes along and it will be when you least expect it. dont let this ruin your relationships if we did everyone would be very lonley!. now's the time to go out and have fun!one day you wil bump into him and make him see what he has missed out on. take care and i hope i could be of some help!bye hun x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Hi:)
let him be a dog...he will get his bone.
some ppl out there are cruel like hell.
it will all come back to him one day.
move on,and u will find ur prince.
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