A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend broke up with me after 13 yrs and 4 kids. but still wants to be friends but i love her.and she says she need to go on with her life now but still she wants to be friends ive read that we shouldnt talk and all that right now we are going through a ruff time but i want her back should i have hope for this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): How in the hell can you spend 13 years with someone, produce 4 kids with them, and still not be ready to get married?Forget morality, I'm just talking common sense now.It seems to me that if this woman didn't already drag you into a wedding at gunpoint a long time ago, then I'll bet she always had read doubts about the relationship.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 March 2008):
 Always keep a hold of hope. Sometimes that's all we have, and it's pulled some through tough times. Your statement in having a rough patch says a lot in what I belive many people are missing in their relationships. That is the "choice."
Relationships are taken for granted. Many people sit back and expect the "feelings" of the relationship to pick them up and cary them through till the end. What's missing in those beliefs is the choice to love. True love, that magical form we see when people have been together for many years and still loving, they figured it out. The choice to love is what moves a couple through the rough times. The choice of love is what keeps the relationship growing in the right direction.
If you do get her back, focus not on how you feel (internally), but the choices you can make to express that feeling. Think about it, when you hold her hand, you choose too. When you buy flowers or say nice things to make her feel good, they start with choices.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It must be a very difficult time. Remember too, when someone leaves don't focus on why they did, change the areas in you that took part in their decision. That change in itsself is a choice too.
It's not the best to try to talk her into it. Doing so is asking her to come back to a place she left because she didn't want to be there. If you begin working on those changes, then siently, she will notice.
Good luck and take care.
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