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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: dear cupid,a very long story cut short!from the age of 16 i fell for a guy that for the past 16 years has been in my life apart from a gap of 18months when i had another relationship! my problem is weve both had children by other people and neither have been faithful when with another we keep coming back to one another. he recently has showed real signs of loving me and when i joked of marrying him one day he grinned from ear to ear, i love him so dearly and i never felt happer other than when he around me. It took him 10 years to tell me he loved me and im scared of going any longer without us making a go of things! We recently started to see each other again and things are more intense and comfortable than ever before. i did ask him are we a couple and he told me he needs to find a permenant place to live and sort things then he'll let me know! help what do i do ? i dont want to spend the rest of my life without him .from bex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 i think u need to take things very slowly here, in my opinion i dont know why he need to find a permenant place before he answers the question as simple as that. lets say he does love you and these things cant be sorted where do you stand? have u asked him that? i know i sound pessimistic, i just dont want you to hold-on and find yourself spending another loveless decade. get him to tell u something u can hold onto something concrete or get to know what is the stubling block he need to remove then you will be able to judge for yourself if he will ever be available for you. the ball is on your court so are u going to let him decide your destiny or you will take control?
A
female
reader, ingotblue  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Right take it easy, you have done the hard part you have found some one that loves you as much as you love him, he needs to get himself sorted and feel that he is independant and wont be putting any strain on your relationship.
He been honest with you, he wants to get straight before any new developements, a couple more months while he gets sorted arent going to hurt.
Take a deep breath, relax and things will be just fine.
Good luck xx
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