| A
female
age
36-40,
*hankgod4agape
writes: My current boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now. I've never felt more complete or safe with anyone but him my entire life. I could say I trusted him 100%. A 1 1/2 into the relationship, I found out that he had been cheating on me with 3 different girls. The experience was the most traumatic thing that my body has felt in my entire life. I felt suicidal and alone. We broke up for 4 months and got back together. Ever since, I have not had a sex drive and have not been attracted to anyone! When we have had sex (about 5 times in the last year...) after I reach climax or during sex, I feel completely violated, almost like I am being raped. I am disgusted and push him off of me. It has been 2 years now and he's done a complete 360 in his behavior. Will I ever have my sex drive back and be able to be intimate with him? I want to marry this man in the future, but will this prevent that from happening?
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female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (10 January 2007):
 i agree with reebe, it will return but firstly u need to forgive him completely, and also forgive yourself in the process because the reason why you cant really feel "anything" its because of the hurt and betrayal you went thru and still going thru, i dont know if he is aware this is how u are still feeling, well if he doesnt i think its better for you to tell him not aggresively but in a manner that shows u both want this to work, then u can seek professional help. maybe if he is aware i am sure he is frustrated with himself on how he can help regain your trust.
i think u must try and refrain from sex a while and start bonding in someway other than that as intimacy its not just sex; because u seem to have lost that, thats why you feel like you are being raped it has become meaningless and you cant be blamed for that but at the same time dwelling on that pain is also not healthy as it might complicate the relationship to a point it can not be revived.
i understand u love him and wanna marry him but i also think u got back together too quickly before u healed. try and take things slowly for now with time things will turn alright. good luck
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Yes it will return but what your man put you through must of hurt badly and although you have managed to patch things up with him you still can't be intimate with him, which is because deep down there are some issues which you haven't solved yet. If i was you I would book some relate therapy or similar, they are trained to help couples that have gone through similar experiences get in touch today, it maybe painful going through the experience again but hopefully you 2 will come out of all this with a happy and loving relationship.
Good Luck!
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