A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear friends,My boyfriend left me after 10 years of love. He is my neighbour and has got married with a girl of his family's choice (the reason for our breakup). Now, he is very happy with her. But it is very difficult for me to see them together even after 4 years of their marriage. In those ten years i almost did everything for him and helped a lot to get his education ad career. My family also helped them all a lot. Please advice how can i overcome my pain and cries and how should i react in front of them. FYI, I hv stopped all my contacts with him and his family. Even my family has also done the same.Thanks in advance for your valuable advice and suggestions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Did you not live with him, was there in all those 10 years no promise ring. Did you want to get married, did you ask him about a commitment. I feel very sad for your position but I do wonder why the relationship did not evolve.
A
female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 It seems like you are trying your absolute best to move on. Since you devoted 10 years of your life with him, the pain isn't going to away quickly or easily. It's hard enough that you keep seeing him with his wife from time to time, put you just have to be as cordial as possible.
As DeathBunny put it, a change of scenery might do you some good. I'm sure everything around you reminds you of your 10 years together.
Just keep moving forward as best as you can, and carry a gleam of hope with you knowing that some day, you will get over this, and that someday, you will find love again.
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A
male
reader, Deathbunny +, writes (9 February 2012):
The hard part about your situation is we--as humans--assume we will get something from our efforts toward helping other people. When someone "cheats" on that ideal, it's very hard on us. Doubly so when the person is someone we've romantically invested in.That isn't going to be easy to get over, but something that might help is to either physically and/or emotionally distance yourself in a healthy manner.One thing to consider is a change of venue. If you have the option to work somewhere else or go to school for a while, consider doing so. Take the time to improve yourself and your situation.Additionally, consider simply doing something different emotionally as well. Change social circles or add one that's not overlapping with his. Do something you feel successful at. (Write a tell-all book about it.)Good luck!
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