A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We started being FWB about six months ago. We had just met a few weeks before and were getting to know each other and then one night we ended up sleeping together and have been a few times a week ever since. When this whole arrangement started I didn't want anything more than an FWB. I was obviously attracted to him but I didn't like him. We hang out with the same people and we go to most social events together. I've had FWB arrangements before and you need to keep your emotions separate from the sex for it not to get complicated. I've never had a complicated FWB arrangement but I've never done this with a close friend. And I think my two worlds are colliding. How do I stop this from becoming a complicated situation, without loosing my FWB or my friend? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): I have just got out of a very complicated fwb after 11 months if you are getting feelings for him I would stop sleeping with him it is the onlt thing you can do really
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): Pick one, sex or friendship. They don't mix well OP. So either cut out the sex or keep the sex and lose the friendship, you can't do both in the long run and past experience has shown you that.
If ether of you have feelings though you're fucked unless both of you have feelings.
So choose now what you want OP and then have a chat with him about it. Just know that if he has feelings for then neither sex nor friendship will be possible in the long run.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2012): The fact that you are asking, means that it's gotten out of hand.
You said in the beginning you were attracted to him, but you didn't like him. Has this changed?
You also said in previous FWB situations you have known keeping the emotions and physical aspect separate stops it being complicated.
You now refer to him as a "close friend". Something tells me your emotions have become involved?
It's already a complicated situation, so perhaps the best way going forward is to determine what do you want more: him on a physical level only; him as a close friend; or both (as a boyfriend)? To have both, you would need to determine how he feels. Did he go into this the same way as you? i.e. detach emotions from the act itself? If so, has anything changed for him? It's been 6 months, a lot can change in that time.
You will need to search your heart, determine what you want, and then decide. Either you want it all, which hopefully he shares the same opinion, or if you can't detach your feelings, then you will get hurt if he doesn't feel the same, so you need to set boundaries of all or friends only without the benefits.
Good Luck, you deserve more than just FWB, but it's your choice and if you continue forward, make sure you guard your heart.
Wishing you happiness,
xxxx E
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