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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. I have a question concerning how to take my ex. We have been broken up for 3 months. For a while we hardly talked, now we are starting to date once a week and talk on the phone daily, which I am very happy about. We both talk (as friends) to people of the opposite sex. Me, by e-mail and him, by his cell phone. I made it very clear to him that I would like us to try and work things out as friends and maybe, give our relationship another shot. He agrees. But I have this thing REALLY bothering me every day. I am so scared that he is going to get serious with one of these girls. He swears to me they are only friends and he isn't trying to pursue them. I know I shouldn't care since we aren't together, but the boy calls me every day and always tells me he loves me and he misses me. It gets me confused. I told him I don't care if he has girls that are friends. But I made him promise that as soon as he would like to pursue one of them further, to tell me. Because, otherwise, it wouldn't be fair. I also told him, if I decide to puruse one of my guy friends, that I would let him know right away. We both haven't dated anyone else in the past 3 months. I don't konw what to do, how to think, or how to act. Most importantly, I don't know how to cope with my feelings of fear that he will move on to someone better than me and forget all about me while I am left behind to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I have turned down many guys for dates and the such, hoping to show my ex how much I really love him. Please help me and tell me how I can cope and get over my feelings of fear that are holding me back and affecting all areas of my life!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): I am in a simular situation at present but i am the guy. I split from my ex and was sure we should not be together but now we still talk and email etc and have also been together a few times I feel different and have become jealous and worried about her being with someone else. What i feel is the problem is staying in contact. It shows you have a solid bond if you have stayed in contact after splitting but by hearing about each others potential new partners it's just giving you the jealousy etc without the good part , the loving relationship. But sometimes love just brings you back together. I would suggest having no contact at all or getting back together. even though i have not been able to do this and seen other girls that are nice but haven't been able to pursue a relationship with them because i still keep wanting her..it's the closure that is needed ....hopefully you can finally move on or go back. good luck.
A
female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (10 October 2005):
Why did you break up in the first place? Will it affect your relationship if you get back togther?
Maybe you should just trust him. Unless you broke up because he lied or cheated, or has a history of that, it sounds like the most sensible thing to do. If he loves you, he won't go for them. Good luck
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