Affair prior to relationship but should I tell current relationship about it?

A male age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I had an affair with a married woman for about two years, but it's since over with and I've since moved on, but the girl I was having an affair with and I are still friends. I'm currently dating a woman - a wonderful, sweet woman with a big heart - who was befriended without my knowing by my previous affair. The situation, as you might imagine, is uncomfortable. In addition, there are people who know of the affair who think I should be up front and honest with the new relationship. I'm torn because they get along really well and we're all just friends, not to mention it's in my past, but at the same time, I feel this lingering guilt of not telling her and what if she ever found out? Should I let her know that I had an affair with this woman who's not a mutual friend?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

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