A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyriend and I have been dating for 1 year, I am only 19 and he is nearly turning 20 and we currently have been living together for 4 months. Today he began telling me that he was getting a big pay out from an insurance claim he has from being in an accident a few years ago and he wants me to sign a prenup. We are not intending to get married its too early to tell. He says if i sign it we stay together if i dont then we have to break up and he will move out. I know nothing about prenups and it scares the hell out of me coz im only 19 and i dont want to have to sign a legal document. I dont know what to do. Please help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Before a man and woman are married they CAN 'plan for a future event' by having an "arrangement" or "prenuptial agreement" (also known as a prenup) drawn up before the wedding or civil union. This arrangement or prenup would consist of a contract, drawn up and entered into by both parties before the marriage or civil union takes place. Its contents can vary but usually consists of provisions of the division of property if the couple were ever to divorce and any rights to support or maintain the spouse either during or after the marriage has ended.
Under (US) law, the prenuptial agreement MUST consist of 5 elements to be valid:
1. agreements must ALWAYS be in writing
2. they must be executed voluntarily
3. full disclosure and/or fair at the time of execution
4. the agreement can't be unconscionable, in other words it can't be unfair to one party
5. It must be executed by BOTH parties (not their attorneys/lawyers) in the correct manner for a deed to be recorded known as an acknowledgement before an attorney/lawyer.
Prenuptial agreements can take the form of a marriage contract for couples proposing to be married and a cohabitational agreement for unmarried couples. I hope this throws some light on your question.
~Eve~
A
female
reader, DT35 +, writes (20 April 2009):
Hiya
He will only stay with you if you sign a piece of paper saying you don't want his money? Bye bye!! Pre Nup agreements simply state that one party expects the relations to end. I would be broken if a man asked me to sign that before we got engaged or married. Devestated! I know we have to protect our interests but it is cold calculating and totally unacceptable to expect someone to sign a legal document without advising them to seek legal advice.
What's the pay out for? Being a twit in a built up area? He's not worth it babe. If he was he would have come home and said, "Hey babe! Fancy a holiday?" or "I've been given a payout, I am going to invest the money in the future" not sign this or I leave......the man is a 24 carat idiot that doesn't deserve anyone!
Get out babe....find someone who will share their tenner lottery win with you, who will buy you a bunch of flowers with their last fiver before pay day and who would give you their last Rolo.....
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A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 Many mature couples are signing prenups these days. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to consider it, especially if both people are entering the marriage with separate hard-earned assets. However, younger couples who still have a lifetime ahead of them don’t usually have a need for them. At least none of my friends have.The fact that your would-be fiancé is coming into some money would certainly make it seem that he is concerned about retaining it. (Perhaps some divorced friends are giving him advice?) While I do not fault him for considering his legal options (nor would I you, if the situation were reversed), I am more concerned with the manner he has chosen to voice his decision.To me, it sounds like a very stark ultimatum. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe in making ultimatums to people you really love. Regardless, if it is a condition of him proposing, he is letting you know his feelings far in advance.I’d be curious to know if he has actually gone about finding out exactly what this prenup would stipulate, or if he is just tossing the word around to see how you will react. Prenups can contain any number of stipulations, and any number of clauses.My advice; don’t sign anything until you read it carefully and have a lawyer look at it and explain it to you. While you are there, don’t be afraid to add in some clauses of your own. ;) Ask the lawyer for some examples.
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