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Advice on how to explain to him that I wont have sex with him before marriage?

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Question - (17 March 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2011)
A female Philippines age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I have a bf and we're now 5 months together. So far, everything is going well with us. We encounter problems and yet we manage to fix things up and that's good. I have just one concern in regards with one of his requests from me to do for him. He wants me to sleep with him, I mean to spend a night with him and you know what that means. I'm really a conventional girl, I was raised by a conservative family and even he's my 3rd bf, i still live up with moral values when it comes to "premarital _". How can you help me explain to him my point? I'm afraid I might lose him but I stick to my values, too.

Thank you,

mj

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (18 March 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntIs it good to stick to your values and beliefs but at 30-35 years of age, I wonder if you are taking things a bit to far? Why have you never married?

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (18 March 2011):

The Realist agony auntSit down with him and explain that you do not want to have sex before marriage. This is generally something that shouldn't be lightly touched on or held back from saying because it is only fair to the other person that they know this so they do not expect it later on.

Start off by bringing up the night he wanted you two to spend together and explain your beliefs to him, then you just have to wait and see what his decision is. It is better that if he doesn't agree with your choice that you both know as early as possible.

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A female reader, kaykay1989 United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2011):

kaykay1989 agony auntYou really need to sit down and talk to him about this i know its going to be hard, but there is no other way then to just be straight with him. Stick to your values and definately don't feel pressured into doing it if you don't want to. I know you love him and you don't want to lose him but if he loves you then he will understand and wait. If he can't then maybe he isn't the one for you. Put it this way if he's done without it for 5 months and you've survived other situations what to say you as a couple can't survive this?. xoxox

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