A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am Having trouble in my relationship with my Boyfriend,We have been together (on and off) for about 3 years, things get bad then we break up for a while and then we end up back together, its like we cant live without each other and we cant live with each other. we find it difficult to resolve problems. Our problem now is:it started last year when we returned back to south Africa from the UK we moved in together and then shortly after he walked out on me. a couple of months passed and we got back together, then it went well for a bit and he walked out on me again. this happened 3 times. and now we are trying again and i don't want to go through all that trauma again. we are currently living together and we are dating for 3 months now. now i believe that because of the above mentioned i suffer from depression and i find it difficult to be affectionate towards him, and i do love him dearly and i would love to be affectionate towards him, he doesn't understand this, I've asked him to be patient but i guess men doesn't understand that word when it comes to affection.and on top of all that, my sex drive is non existent, and now he thinks he cant turn me on anymore.... i'm in desperate need of advice.
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female
reader, imiss  +, writes (23 December 2011):
First and foremost, if you truly feel that you are suffering from depression, seek the guidance of a good therapist. Even if it's not clinical depression but more of a temporary "down in the dumps" sort of feeling, you may find it extremely helpful to talk through some of your problems with an objective third-party.As far as your relationship with your boyfriend, you don't provide much background on the cause of the problems but you do share one big piece of information: he walked out on you. More than once. It's understandable that you have strong feelings for someone you have been with so long, but you owe it to yourself to take a step back and evaluate whether or not this relationship is one you want to keep, given that you fear he will walk out the door again. Maybe he has a wealth of redeeming qualities that you didn't mention in this post.My best advice: take care of YOU :) You'll be able to handle any outcome.
A
male
reader, punksavage  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 Honey you have to do what is right for you. you have to ask yourself am i happy with him, genuinely happy. i was in a relationship much like yours we fought then we would break up then get back together, things would be fine for a little bit then downhill again. i realized that i was not happy with this person so i broke up with them it was hard because i loved her very much. then i found a new girlfriend that makes me happy.and now im even more in love than i was with that other person. what im trying to say is it sounds like your trying to hold onto something that is just hurting you.
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