A
male
age
36-40,
*atson1
writes:Dear Aunt, am addicted to gay porn but i want to stop it how can i do.
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male
reader, Greasy  +, writes (5 June 2011):
Hi there,
I'm going to assume that by "addicted" you mean that your watching of (gay porn... let's call it 'gorn') is interfering with your work, relationships, or quality of life somehow. That makes it something that you're quite right to try to do something about. One problem that too much porn &/or masturbation can lead to in men is that, when you're having actual sex with an actual person, you can't climax because your libido's 'attention span' is fixated on the short vignettes that you either watch in porn or fantasize to while masturbating. That is - you can't get off to anything else but porn. If you're in a committed relationship of any sort, that can be a big problem as it will make your partner think that she/he's not doing anything for you.
Other than regular exercise & a healthy diet (which solves damn-near every problem in the Universe), I've got 3 suggestions:
1. Go have gay sex to find out what the fuss is about.
This applies only if you're single or in an open relationship with a consenting partner to whom you've been open about your problem and your intentions. If you've never considered yourself gay, then this would be a chance to try & sort out what part of gorn you're addicted to. In this case, though, since the gay sex probably won't actually happen, my advice would be to ask a gay friend/acquaintance to help you out (otherwise, you'd be being dishonest with whoever you were trying to sleep with, which is ethically shady).
2. Seek professional help.
This applies if your addiction is especially severe; that is, if it's taking over your daily life. There could be more going on in your life that's just being 'expressed' as obsessing over gorn, when in fact the root of the problem is elsewhere. The only way to figure that out is to talk to a counselor or psychologist. They may be able to suggest specific things you can do to begin to change your behaviour & how your brain works (e.g. cognitive behavioural therapy, meditation, etc.).
3. Limit exposure.
This is a stop-gap measure that you can try while thinking about the other 2 suggestions. I'll assume that, when you watch gorn, you do it in private (if you do it in public, see #2). So what you want to do is arrange your living space such that it's not possible to watch anything in private: move your computer so that the screen faces a window, and take away the curtains. Basically, move stuff around so that - if you were really REALLY desperate for a gorn hit, it would be a major hassle to create a private viewing environment for yourself. There's a possibility that, while moving stuff around despite the hassle, you'll find the presence of mind to chose something else to do other than watch gorn.
Anyhow, that's my three-cents; good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): Just take one day at a time. Take one hour at a time. Try to not look at porn for example, for one week or if that is too hard, try one day. If you fail, pick yourself up and set another target. Just gradually stretch out the time you can not look at it and eventually you will get off it.
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