A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:OK, heres the deal. I am out of town on a family emergency and suddenly my husband is getting picked up and brought home from work by a new "training" lady at his job. He is in the military. Now, my husband doesn't have his license so he has gotten a ride to and from this whole time, but ironically a new woman is here training him and she brought him home today. Here's the BIG part.I found out from an older lady that saw this woman walk into MY house with MY husband. She came in with her uniform on and came out in normal (civilian) clothes. BUT, I had talked to my husband and he never mentioned that this person came IN our house. In fact he almost acted like he wasn't going to tell me when I confronted him, then he said "Oooooohhhhhh" that. And he said she was only in there for 5 minutes to change clothes and leave.My question is.. Why couldn't she change at work in the bathroom? And why didn't he tell me? And we live on military housing and how embarrassing for me now coming home from out of town?Now I have this image of my husband bringing a strange woman in my house without me knowing, and she was getting undressed in my bathroom? Or so he said. What if the door was open? Did they kiss? Did they have sex? How would I know? Why didn't he tell me?He has made rude comments after this and never really got the whole deal that it is WRONG!!!! Even if they really DIDN'T do anything, but how am I to know if they did or not? I am so hurt right now it's ridiculous! I am in MN because my grandma is dying, and also going through 7 million other things, and he has the nerve to pull this crap.Am I completely lost here or do I need to leave his ass? I don't know what to do. I have a 3 yr old, and we have NO KIDS TOGETHER. We have only been married for 5 months.I relocated 1200 miles away from home for him and there has been drama since day 1.I love him, but he clearly doesn't love me, right?God, please help me. I don't know what to do.And he doesn't do anything romantic for me anymore like he used to or anything. Nothing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK, to the person that jumped down my throat here... My husband has done other dumb things and "forgot" to tell me about or whatnot, in the past. I'm not childish unless I sit here and deal with something like this. Obviously you have never been through this type of thing before. I have and I know the tell tale signs. That is why I'm on here asking for advise.
I do appreciate your opinion though. Maybe I do need to chill out a little bit, but this man has treated my unfairly for a little while and I'm frankly getting tired out from it.
Sorry if I'm over-reacting, but this is my life and my child lives in this house, I f my husband was cheating, I want to know so I can move on.
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Give it some time. There is a good chance that it was innocent, and she really did only change clothes. Did you ask the lady who witnessed it how long the woman was in the house for?
Look at it from his perspective... if it really was completely innocent, why would he remember or think about details like did she come in to change or not? He would have just let her in, said goodbye when she left and not thought anything else of it. Maybe that's why he didn't tell you.
Don't assume the worst just yet, wait a little while, monitor his behavior for other signs of cheating and see how it unfolds. You should also ask him to introduce you to this other woman, if the two of you haven't already met. You'll be able to tell by his reaction whether something is going on. If he is nervous or tries to talk you out of it, then there is a chance that he's trying to cover up some indiscretions. If he agrees to let you meet, you can see how she reacts to you and how they interact with one another.
Take it slow, try to calm down and give him the benefit of the doubt for now.
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A
male
reader, Devil Spawn  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 YOU HAVE ISSUES
Why do you think he is cheating on you? Because some lady he worked with changed her cloths at your house?
Maybe she didnt have time at work or it was faster to change at your house?
You sound like a spoilt teenager and not a married grown woman.
I doubt this man has done anything wrong and as for the "clearly doesnt love me" comment you are just showing a huge immaturity level.
I suggest you figure out why you dont trust your husband, if this is all you have to go on its a bit sad really. Besides is your husband not allowed to have female friends?
Sorry to all the aunts here who will no doubt jump down my throat for this, but honestly its somewhat childish don't you think? Someone has to tell this woman to get a grip!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): If he wasnt straight up with you, hes probably lying and they probably did have sex, not to sound negative.. but why would he forget to tell his own WIFE something like that!?!
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