A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How would you explain this? What I am about to say was totally MY idea, even though my wife was very into it once it got started...My wife and I were in a male friends house initiating a threesome with him...up to this point you could say it was only a fantasy, probably in my mind more than my wifes...I dont know why but I couldnt get hard, even though my wife was trying everything,for quite awhile.nothing was happening .it was frustrating, to say the least...Finally after noticing that the other man was fully erect, I guided her hand toward his lap, and she took it from there, with great enthusiasm..out of control enthusiasm,,,.My question to everybody out there...Why couldnt I get hard for my wife? Its bothering me a lot..
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 December 2016):
 Sounds like you where nervous when it came to it. You see it was not just you and your wife, the other man was in the room as well. Distraction does funny things like that.
A
male
reader, lov2dancecpl +, writes (11 December 2016):
Sounds like total nerves and anxiety to me we've seen this so many times. My wife and I been doing things like this for over 30 years. Happen to me just a couple times I was nervous about who the other guy was that was joining us. Both of us seen it happen in many situations we experience, even to the guy who was joining in with us he was nervous, seen it in another couple their first time we set it up with two male friends to do our wives, the other husband couldn't get it up seeing his wife with another man but now he loves it. You both need to keep talking about it just relax make sure it's what you both want try it again I would suggest the same guy as before since you already seen them together might make you feel more relax knowing how it's going to go.
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A
male
reader, marianox  +, writes (9 December 2016):
I would be happy of my wife had intercourse with someone who is able to make her orgasm
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 December 2016):
 Fraud said we have an ego and an id. Your subconscious is punishing you for letting your id step on your ego .After you pop back into reality and realize fantasy is the opposite of reality you may find inner peace again and body functions will return to normal. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): Did your friend have a bigger penis? Or maybe you were worried your wife might enjoy him more than you? Once you do something like this, it can't be undone. But I agree with Honeypie, your wife took one for the team, to please you so please don't resent her for enjoying it. You probably did find your wife attractive but seeing another man boning her in reality was likely to deflate your erection, at. The end of the day it's your wife with another man. Maybe keep fantasies in your head going forward!
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A
female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (8 December 2016):
 I wonder if your wife agreed to this just to please you?
by now she will also feel a failure, she doesnot turn you on at all, not even after doing that..
think on that , easier to fantasy in your head than take things to reality.
My gut feeling for your marriage, if you dont change and do something now is sex that important? If it is for her, well it sure messed things up but if it isnt try saving your marriage as its on a downward slope! Good luck, flowers chocolates old fashioned hugs and the three magic words... are far more important than getting hard..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): You were judging her for being so eager; and at the same time reality hit you right in the face. The fantasy is usually greater than the real thing. That is often what I warn OP's about introducing a third-party into a committed-relationship, or their marriage.
You weren't prepared for your wife's reaction, you didn't expect your male-friend to be so compliant; and the thought of male-competition short-circuited your erection. It was more to handle than you were mentally prepared for. It's not just the conscious-mind that has to absorb all of this, it's the sub-conscious mind as well. You were in shock, my friend.
Sometimes things are better left to the imagination. As the song by the Pussycat Dolls goes: "Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it!"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): I agree that it's probably due to pressure. There are also some men with voyeuristic fantasies. Doesn't mean you're gay.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2016):
 Because FANTASY and REALITY are not the same. While it might be hot in your mind, in porn or erotica, when it come down to it, you were the ODD man out, all of a sudden you had competition (that YOU yourself had put in the bed).
Then there is performance anxiety on top of finding out that fantasy might not be all you cracked it up to be in your imagination. YOU might not have liked having to perform in front of another man or potentially have someone outperform you.
You COULD have stopped it, but you didn't so I SINCERELY hope you aren't going to start resenting YOUR wife for partaking with enthusiasm (which she probably did to not only encourage you but also for her to enjoy this fantasy of YOURS.
Maybe more than you and your wife in the bedroom doesn't work for you. And now you know.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 December 2016):
 There is a difference between fantasy and reality. What might have been a hot fantasy wasn't really turning you on in real life.
That, or you were nervous. It happens plenty of times when a man has sex for the first time with someone new, that he can't get erect. Your friend was someone new who you haven't had sex with before, so it could have just been nerves.
Try to think about whether you were aroused mentally by the episode when it was happening, or if you are more aroused by it now when you are just thinking of it. I have plenty of things that arouse me to no end when Im imagining it, but that doesn't do anything for me at all if it happens in real life.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 December 2016):
 Pressure. It's possible your imagination wanted a threesome, but the rest of your mind wasn't so sure and limited your performance.
How do you feel about the threesome?
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