A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for almost a month and a half, and it seems like it's just a roller coaster of emotion.The first time we started going together, we were both really excited, and everything seemed great.Then all fo a sudden, after a week, I got scared, and broke up with him.Three days laters, we got back together. Everything was getting back to normal, then all of a sudden I start doubting the relationship again. I try to hide it, but the doubt just keeps growing, until it seems like I'm even too nervous to be around him. He tells me all the time how much he loves me, and wants to be with me, but I just feel like I can't tell him back. The last actual relationship I had ended horribly (and violently), and I just worry if it's left some emotional issues.I don't understand why I get scared to be in a relationship, or what I'm even scared of.
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female
reader, Nielle06 +, writes (14 November 2008):
I know how u feel my last relationship was violent and when I started dating this new guy i was scared 2 get close or feared if i let him get 2 close to me that i would push him away... and being that your relationship is still so new and he is already telling you he loves you may make you nervous and feel uncomfortable b/c ur just not ready for all that, just keep your head up babe and remember that its always good in the beginning thats why its important to take things slow and don't rush anything, if he really does love you like he says then he will understand what you have been through and will be willing to take things one day at a timeI hope I was at least a little help to you...good luck
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (14 November 2008):
 It sounds like you are afraid because you have been treated so badly in the past. You don't want to wind up in the same situtaion again. The exitement you feel in the beginning is most likely a replica of the other relationship in most ways and knowing this puts you on guard.
The fact that you wrote *Cupid was because you care about the guy who has now fallen for you. However his saying the word Love and expressing it, you aren't sure that it's real. The last guy probably told you this too and yet was abusive leaving you confused about the real concept of what a man thinks love is.(It's happens to men as well, when the shoe is on the other foot).
You need to take a bit of time to yourself. Think it all through. Try your best to conclude why the other guy turned out to be so terrible. Sometimes we cause our own demise, although being abused is wrong and should NEVER be tolerated.Once you have considered all the things that went wrong, think of ways that you may have been able to have better control over your own relationships.
You have to be strong once you have realized and understood that it clearly wasn't your fault. Once you have gained this conception, you should talk to the new guy. Let her know how you feel and that you don't want to hurt him. By being honest you will protect his feelings more than letting on or leading him on if you don't intend to become more involved. If he loves you he will most likely give you understanding and all the time you need. If the feelings turn out to be too much for you to handle, then lean back and take your time. No need to rush things and if he really cares for you hopes are that he will be waiting in the wings. Don't wait to long though as it could leave you standing in the wings ALONE! Be fair and choose with knowledge from the GENTLE HEART that you have shown by posting here for help.
*YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE.........When you wait for love it will come.......but sometimes it just takes alot of patience.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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