A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Myself and the guy I'm dating had our first argument last week. (We've only been together seven weeks), it wasn't so much an argument but a disagreement over his behavior. He got all defensive, as well as going on the offensive to the point were I just couldn't be bothered arguing anymore. I suggested we just drop it and ever since he has given me the cold shoulder. I've heard very little from him since, often just clarifications of stuff I have mentioned after I have contacted him. This was a few days ago now. He's going through exams this week and I really want to just send a quick message saying Good Luck but I don't want to come off as clingy or needy when he is clearly ignoring me. Should I just leave it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (7 June 2014):
 Shouldn't be too clingy to send him a single message once.
If you're sending a message every day, maybe that would.
PS: yeah that's early to have an argument, and him being so offensive isn't a great sign either. He could just be passing through a bad moment, but this is an opportunity for you to reflect on all that. You should be thinking about his behavior (and how you are dealing with it) and whether you want to try contact him, not whether you are passing off as clingy or not - are you just going to drop it, let it pass? Is what he thinks about you all that matters? Maybe he owes you an apology.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (4 June 2014):
Maybe he thought the same thing (if this is how she reacts I don't know if I like her).
You also say he's clearly ignoring you but that he's busy in school. It's likely that the timing for your fight was bad maybe he's too busy to worry about anything else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to state what the argument was about but I do think I over reacted and I have admitted that to him. I have apologized to him and wished him good luck. He claims he is ok and I am the one with issues. To be honest, I stated to him I don't feel I can do anymore but offer a sincere apology to which he hasn't responded. If this is the way he reacts then I don't think I like him. I know that sounds awful but I really can not stand ignorance in a person. Onwards and upwards! Thanks for your replies.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 June 2014):
 I don't know who was right or wrong in the argument, but if he's obviously ignoring you then I would definitely not send any more messages and let him be the one to initiate contact.
In my opinion, sending another text wishing him luck would seem like grovelling under the circumstances. Don't encourage him to think that no matter how badly he behaves you'll always be there with sweet tokens of affection. It lowers you in his eyes and nurtures the worst in him.
You've already reached out and either he's busy preparing for this exam or he's still miffed about the argument. Give him the space he seems to need and let him be the one to make peace. Don't sit about waiting for him. Live your own life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2014): What behavior did you have an argument about? It's hard to say whether you should just leave it, if no one knows how you came to this point. I guess it all depends.
I speculate to say if after seven weeks you're already complaining and fighting; culminating in you receiving the silent treatment. I'd say it's pretty much over, and wishing him any luck at all is unnecessary. Bow out gracefully, he has initiated no contact.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2014):
 I would wish him Good Luck in a text, but otherwise leave it. Even if you two had an argument you can still be a nice person.
However, IF after ONLY 7 weeks you are finding faults in his behavior (I'm curious as to what fault that is btw) then maybe you are JUST scarping the surface of who he really is. And if that behavior somehow was so "bad" that it caused and argument... then maybe he isn't a good fit?
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