A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I read about this "guy psychology" thing a bit ago, and I was wondering if it's true or just a load of crap..So guys, please tell me this....Lets say you have a girlfriend.She's amazing, sweet, kind, affectionate, funny, cute etc. Basically everything you could possibly ever ask for..A year and a half into the relationship, she starts having mood swings.. Tells you hurtful things that aren't even true, and hurts you so much emotionally that you break up with her almost two years into the relationship..You still love her very much, but you're hurt and just need time away from her.She clearly loves you very much, but she was going through a very hard time in her life, due to living over three-hundred miles away from you. So you two are obviously in love with eachother, but you need time away from her, as I mentioned earlier.. You need time to heal from her careless actions, time to get yourself back together so you can possibly be with her again..The first three weeks after the break up are awful.. She continuously reminds you how much she NEEDS you and how much she loves you and absolutely cannot live without you. She constantly texts you, IM's you, sends you messages on Facebook/Myspace or to your email.. But you obviously need some space, and she's not letting you have any at all.. Remember, this goes on for ONLY the first three weeks after the break up.Then she suddenly stops everything....She stops saying "good morning" to you everyday, and "goodnight" to you everynight, she stops calling you, she stops texting you, she just stops.... Out of nowhere. You still communicate, but now it's YOUR choice. It's YOUR choice whether you want to talk to her or not. You still do, just not as much.. Now instead of her constant reminders of how hurt she is and how much she cries etc., she's actually beginning to look happy. It looks like she's getting over you. It looks like she's moving on....Remember, you still love her, and she still loves you.. But you never remind eachother about your feelings. If she appeared to be "moving on" and appeared to be "happy" without you, would you rush back to her and want to be with her again? Or would you move on as well?(P.S. Sorry I wrote so much. I read that if a girl "appears to be moving on", the guy will want her back. Is this true?)
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male
reader, Itxi  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 If I still loved the girl, well knowing what I know now I'd say that if I knew she loved me and looked like she was moving on that would be the perfect time to get back together. When you both have a mutual affection and no need or unrequited feelings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): Sounds like a lot of drama and I would be moving on. No matter how much I loved a girl, I would not be anxious to take that kind of crap from her again. And if it seems like she is happy and moving on, I would be doing the same. I try to avoid moody, hormonal women.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Hi,if you really wanted to be with this girl why the hell did you push her away,so she would come after you maybe she is really unhappy but has to move on an look happy to ease the pain
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 September 2010):
 I might miss the attention, even if it was unwanted attention. It feels good to be wanted after all. Still, I sure as hell wouldn't want her back. Once broken up, I stay that way. If it didn't work out the first time, it won't the next time either.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Sorry I would run a mile and never be interested again.
Men think logically about relationships while women think emotionally about them.
Your person stops everything....the signal is SHE no longer cares. The man in your story will be very upset and confused and will eventually say good bye and good riddance. Mind games that your hypothetical person is playing make men sick. Men hate that. Men like to know where they stand.
You've messed him around far too much and I doubt things will ever be the same.
Why should he go through all the hassle with you, when he can find someone that will treat him right?
You say you love him, but instead you spend all the time trying to mess with his head.
Ok you live 300 miles apart...so instead of playing games why not make plans to move closer to him?
Learn from this and in future treat people how you would like to be treated.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): People act and behave different. I wouldnt want someone more if they was happy without me an movin on. If a person hurts you enuff, again an again,it would be a relief to see them move on. I have been thru something very similar an still am to an extent. Yes it hurt me, an she enjoyed telling it in the most hurtful way she could.If u are with someone who`s like that 300 miles is the perfect distance.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Personally if a girl had mood swings for no reason I would want to find out why and try and help.
If it became impossible i.e. she could not communicate or didnt want to then I would leave her alone and not contact her again even if I did love her. I would wait for her to contact me if she wanted to, providing I havent moved on myself.
If she moved on or was moving on then I would not want her back or not want to interfere on the basis if she moved on then no matter if she said she loved me I would know she is not in love.
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A
female
reader, AngelFromHell101 +, writes (21 September 2010):
 i am a girl but honestly i do think that a guy will want her more. this is also true if you seem to act unavaible or wanted by other guys.
bottom line, if you push away, he'll want you even more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): One of the biggest things that men fear is a woman who is crazy. I don't mean quirky, I mean crazy. It sounds like the woman in your hypothetical is crazy. So, with that in mind, if I'm the guy, I'm probably going to be relieved she is moving on instead of having a fatal attraction for me and I'm going to let her go.
Now, you mentioned that I love her in this hypothetical. That complicates things a little bit and, frankly, makes the hypothetical unfair. If I really love her, I'm going to work through things with her so I wouldn't be ignoring her to begin with, even if she was crazy and had hurt me.
But to really answer your question, is it true that if a girl appears to be moving on, a guy will want her back? The answer is that I believe that psychology does work in certain cases and I actually believe it works better on women than men. I know that if I call and text women frequently they tend to slip farther away. However, if I give the impression I'm not really all that into them, just text every few days or email a couple times a week or something, and then suddenly don't text for a few days, it drives them nuts and they come after me.
Just my thoughts.
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