A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI really need advice. Im just newlywed, under a month and already with stress that I cannot cope with. My husband and I are to move to the States because of his job contract which is fine. He is away down in the states for a week to establish a place and help out his boss there. I called him up yesterday in the evening (after his working hrs which he was already in the hotel). I povided him some info needed and i repeated myself 3 times cause he kept interupting what i was trying to say. He flipped out totally on me, he was getting angry at me because I asked why is he stressing out so much.He said that filling in the paperwork plus me calling him is stressing him out. I heard how "sick of me" and how he is considering finding a divorce lawyer. I didnt know what to do so I just said to him"this is not how you speak to your loved one". He kept flaring up and I felt that he was doing it on purpose so that I would hang up the phone, and so I did. I was hurt and tears all cried out, feeling very low, about 1 hr later I got online to write him an email of saying how I felt hurt by what he said. And there he was online not talking to me but being online prlly chatting or god knows what else. I didnt bother finishing the email, I got offline feeling more hurt just going to bed all in tears. Today, he calls me and acts as if nothing happened. He sounds happy while deep down Im torn into little pieces because he doesnt see what wrong he said to me. Right now, I feel so low and torn. I love him very much yet I feel that he doesnt love me as much because then he wouldnt be intending on putting me down but bringing me up from being all low and sad. Nothing at all. Please leave some advice for me.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Be very very careful with your husband. How long were you dating before getting married? This abrupt behavior, then not acknowledging it is an early sign of abuse. He behavior was uncalled for in the way he talked to you. You need to get this issue addressed with him right away, and be firm. Let him know, stress or not, you WILL NOT allow him to treat you this way, you're better than that and did not marry him to be someone he can release his frustrations on. Let him know too that no matter what his state of mind is at the time there is never an excuse to talk to someone you love the way he spoke to you.
Take care and make sure you stay strong or get out of the situation.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): heya girlie....
lisen to me okay, firstly, you are right your husbund had no right to speak to you like that..espesh about the divorce thing...maybe he is under pressure? you said that you was moving and hes got a new job and plus youre married..maybe he felt like things were getting on top of him?
secondly, when you was going to email him..and saw him online..he was probably just browsing the net, with his messenger on, with us girls we tend to jump to the wrong conclusion..i kno i do, and i take it to heart so much espesh if it is after an argument. i constantly expect my boyfriend to sho affection, and when he acts a fool i take it to heart way to much for my own good lol
when your husbund comes home, make dinner, sit him down n ask him calmy..do you really want to divorce me? (do your little puppy dog eyes:) lol) but get an answer from him..then ask him why he said what he did on the phone, tell him it hurt you, tell him you love him, BUT if he turns out to be a complete looser anddd is breaks your heart...you need to do some serious thinking because are you sure you will be able to move with him?
(also..casually ask him why he neva spoke to u online that day,,,but dont jump to assumptions okk deary :) ..)
god bless ya both and good luck x x
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