A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So i have been out of this dating game for a while my bf and i were together for 3 years and we broke up about 3 months ago. He completely shattered my heart when he cheated and left me for her. its been tough to overcome this but im getting through.The thing is,there is this guy i have always been attracted to. i met him a year ago while my bf and i were on a "break". from the very beginning he was always very flirty and straight up that he liked me. but i never took him seriously. One, because i was still in love with my bf and Two, because he is your typical player. he is the type of guy that pretty much woman throw themselves at him.Ever since my bf and i broke up this other guy has been very persistent and coming after me. no matter how attracted to him i am, i made it clear that i was not ready to be with someone because how badly i had been hurt and that i was scared to fall for anyone.and he said he understood but i guess it made it more of a challenge to him because he still tells me how much he likes me.im not gonna lie i love the attention he gives me and i feel like the more i deny that i like him back the more i fall for him and it scares me! only because i he can possibly hurt me.when we hang out he brings out the best in me and puts me in a good mood easily. last night he kissed me for the first time. could i feel this way only because i may still be vulnerable? should i stay away from him because of his reputation? i dont know what to do!
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broke up, flirt, my ex, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2012): Players usually do NOT CHASE. If this guy is pursuing you, then either he his genuinely intrigued by you or you keep running away and he sees you as a challenge.
It sounds like you do not TRUST YOURSELF right now. How long ago did you break up? Maybe you are not ready for another relationship.
Ask yourself these questions.
"What did I learn from my last relationship?"
"What new skill do I take with me into new dating experiences?"
"What do I want to avoid next time?"
See how that guy fits into your view now.
Best of Luck!
A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (22 January 2012):
The only evidence you have given that he is a player is that women throw themselves at him. That could just mean that he is a really good looking guy, very charming, or has a lot of money. Could be any combination thereof.
A player deliberately uses women and never stays with one particular one. Is he really like that? If so, stay away.
But if not, and he is putting you in a good mood and you already kissed him, then why not? You don't have to deny yourself just because of your ex.
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A
female
reader, katiekate +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Personally, I could never be with someone who I knew was a player. It's basically just setting yourself up for failure in my opinion. Certain men are labeled as players for a specific reason- they are smooth talkers and like to conquer many different women. Don't be a notch on his belt.
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