A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my bf for a very long time. He had mentioned a gay guy at his workplace who fancied him ever since he went to work there. The guy knows he has a gf. However, recently my bf went over to his place and brought him something he had ordered, and asked for no compensation (he did the favor as a friend). Ever since then, the guy keeps calling him on his cellphone at any time (even when we are together), even though they are supposedly just aquaintances, and acts very friendly and jokingly around my bf at work, even calls him honey and baby.It all escalated in him buying my boyfriend a semi personal (an kind of expensive) gift, and even though my boyfriend told me about it, he didn't tell me that the gift was a cologne called "Love". I found out elsewhere and when I asked him about it he just stopped talking to me.He refused to explain what is going on. And he hung up on me, twice, because I was apparently 'busting his balls'.In all honesty, I don't think my bf is gay or anything, and I didn't accuse him of anything. He is a very kind person and sometimes (even before we met) he doesn't even get it when girls are flirting with him. I am just annoyed that he would not ask the guy to back off a bit. Since he saw how I reacted when I learned he calls my bf 'baby'. And I can't explain how annoyed and defensive my bf got when I asked him about the gift. Normally, we talk about everything -and I mean everything. That alone makes me feel very bad :(How would he take it if someone who liked me bought me something like that? How would he react if I refused to talk about any of it?Am I being paranoid?
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female
reader, tmariee  +, writes (24 July 2010):
maybe you whould think about his sexual orenitaton? my uncle was married with two children for a very long time and he recently came out. It was a very big shock. but if u absolulty know hes not or couldnt be gay or bi. then maybe he just doesnt talk about it because its embarassing for him and he honestly knows nothing is gonna happen. and that the guy is just being gay and attracted. and hey your bf is getting free gifts outta it.. you should just talk to him about how you feel but apprach the situation very delicatly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): YES, you have a right to be concerned. Expensive gifts? Pet names? Guys normally don't do that with each other...unless they're lovers. Personally, I'd think ur bf was maybe bi-curious or something. But, you know him best. Ok, your boyfriend may not be gay but, he should be VERY aware that this man has a crush on him, it's very obvious. Sit him down and without an accusing, angry voice, tell him that you're hurt by his refusing to really communicate with you. Tell him what you said on here: how would he like it if the roles were reversed? So, tell him of course, you don't mind his having friends, but that this "friend's" treatment of him makes you uncomfortable. Ask him to ask his friend to please cool it and if ur bf does as you ask and nothing changes or simply refuses, that's cause for concern.
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