A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cheated and led my gf on for months, but that was because, I didn't love or care about her, but as time went on, I started to gain feelings for her and now I love her so much and I can't imagine my life without her. She found out about the lies and cheating and she has left me!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!! I didn't think I would get caught at the time, but after I started gaining feelings for her, I stopped the lies and cheating, but I told myself that I would never tell her because, I didn't want to risk losing her. AND NOW I DID!!!! I am going to lose my mind...I know there is no other woman for me but her!!!! I didn't realize it at the time, but whenever I think about life without her, I noticed that I CAN'T. I am still very young and she is way older than me (9 years), but I have never felt this way about any other woman the way I do about her. PLEASE HELP ME GET HER BACK!!! My friends say I should let her be and get a woman my own age...I DON'T WANT A WOMAN MY OWN AGE, I WANT MY EX!!!! I drank myself drunk these last couple of weeks because, I just can't deal with the pain....sometimes I feel like I am going to lose my mind or hurt myself. I WANT HER, I NEED HER, I LOVE HER. I know I shouldnt' have cheated, but that was months ago when we first started dating and I was running game with her, but now MY FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED!!! Dear God HELP ME. I am losing it right now....I can't stop crying, I took a leave of absense from my job because, I can't work in this condition...I CAN'T!! I cry all the time, I am depressed, I haven't eaten anything in the last few days and I am drinking like crazy. I know I probably don't deserve her, but I WANT HER BACK. I will never, ever cheat on her again. If we are having issues, I now know that I need to talk to her instead of cheating...I cheated for several reasons but I know nevertheless it was WRONG. please help me please!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH. I don't want to lose her forever...I am never ever going to find true love like that again in my life time.
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I understand why you are upset, but your actions are more than slightly unresponsible.
Firstly, there is no 'one' woman for you. Yes there are those better than others, and women that you get along with very well, but the truth is, there is someone else out there for you who will make you HAPPIER if you look hard enough. I know you dont want to right now, but trust me, you'll find her if you look in all the right places.
More importantly i think here are the lessons to be taken away from this. You thought you could sneak around and not get caught. Now, you know you will probably get caught. And 2, cheating will ruin your relationship, when you find the next amazing girl for you, dont even think about it, or it will ruin it too.
Now if you really want her back and have even the slightest chance to get her back, she will be incredibly turned off by the path you are taking. she will see your drinking and emotional unstability as a weakness in you that she doesnt want.
IF YOU WANT HER BACK YOU NEED TO SNAP OUT OF IT NOW!
Start eating, stop drinking your life away, get out wiht your friends and enjoy life.
Dont let her have this power over you, if she sees it, she will know she can manipulate you anyway she likes.
Most importantly, telling us that you will never cheat again means absolutely nothing. You hurt her, and you are going to have to do everything in your power to get her back. You have to let her know how sorry you are. You need to cater to her every whim. Show her that your love is unconditional. Thats going to be the only way to do it. If you dont want to put in the time for this relationship, you best move on.
Keep me posted, ill try to help as much as i can, and for goodness sake keep safe and be smart. Please limit your drinking otherwise you are going to end up doing something you regret or worse.
Nick.
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