A
female
age
36-40,
Curiousbynature
writes:I have been dating someone 4 hours away now for a little over 6 months. We have had no huge problems and everything for now is running quite smoothly. I am completely honest with him, which is a first for me. We see each other about every other weekend. When we do see each other we can’t stay off one another, which is what should be expected. And usually I never think about us not being together. Were just too happy and we are at that early in the relationship phase where you could never see yourself with anyone else. So maybe that masks the problem that we are long distance. I never think about it, until last night. My best gay friend that I haven’t seen in years told me it’s probably not going to work. No masking there; he was very blunt. Then again, he is very materialistic and very selfish and he could not go without having someone there to reassure him of his confidence. So he can’t really understand where I am coming from. We are both pretty successful in our careers right now, so both of us have to remain in the areas that we are currently. We both played college sports and both are working on our masters. He is a bit more confident than me, but I have a decent amount of respect for myself. So I don’t need that person to remind me everyday I’m a great person. That is where my gay friend and I differ. He is in a relationship with a man, who cannot reveal his sexuality in his course of work. Therefore, he has to hide that he is in their relationship. So is this why he is uncomfortable with himself? Is that the right advice to tell me or is he just frugal on his issues? In a long-distance relationship, can they be successful? Or are they a route for disaster?
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male
reader, CuriousKetnar +, writes (7 August 2008):
I believe they can work but there has to be means to an end... I don't think it will work if you don't have a time period to look forward too where you know the long distance will end.
I am actually just finishing up the long distance part of my relationship. I am currently in a serious relationship with a girl I was with for all of last year during college, but come summertime we both had jobs in our hometowns... Mine being in Minnesota and hers in South Carolina. We have been apart sense beginning of May and next weekend we will be back together for good.
We both knew it was going to be extremely hard on us but agreed it was completely worth it to stay together. She visited me in June, I visited her in July. We had to go about 6 weeks apart, then three and a half, then three and a half again and so the beginning stretch was definitely the worst.
It's all about communication and trust. My girlfriend and I talk a lot, so that made it easier, although we both had our moments where we just got sick and tired of hearing each other instead of seeing each other.
I would send her flowers randomly, send her care packages with random stuff that reminding each other. Write her emails, random text messages that just say I love you. She did all that stuff back to me too.
It's all about doing the little things that are going to remind each other of how important you are to each other and that even though the long distance sucks, it is totally worth it.
I hate it, but I love my girlfriend and I know it is worth it.. If we didn't know when we would be able to see each other next, I don't think I would be able to do it.
Your only 6 hours apart, try being across the country.
Don't think it won't last, because it can. Good luck with everything and sorry my post is so long, I just kept typing away.
A
female
reader, Shade'sGirl +, writes (29 July 2008):
I think i can honestly say i understand this. In truth i'm not American im actually from Ireland but the person ive fallen for lives in America. So i know a thing or two about long distance relationships! XD
We've been dating over 6 months and im happy to say that he makes me smile and gives me confidence just as your partner does for you.
You friend is wrong when he says that it wont work. Ive dated long distance many many times! And they ended because we fell out of affection and had nothing to do with distance at all because i saw plent of them.
If you really care about this person then it shouldnt matter how far away they are from you. Love knows no bounds afterall.
Ignore your friend hun. Its not him that is dating this guy it's you so any and all feelings are yours alone. Follow your heart and someday you'll see that this way you can really get close to this person, have plenty of space and still be absolutely head over heels for them.
I hope ive helped ^^;
Shadie xox
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